The Addiction You Wear

You don’t look broken you look rehearsed

Like you learned how to hide it first

Smile stitched just a little too tight

Like you’ve been practicing all night

You say you’re fine say it twice

Like repetition makes it right

But I see the shake in your hands

When the room goes quiet again

You don’t bleed where anyone sees

You bleed in private slow and deep

If pain’s a language you’re fluent now

You wear it well I’ll give you that

You wear it like a second skin

Like something you can’t quit

You say you’re clean you say you’re free

But you still need it

Yeah you call it love you call it air

But it’s the addiction you wear

You don’t chase peace you chase the rush

You don’t want healing just enough

To make it through another night

Without looking too far inside

You say you’re done with the old mistakes

But you keep them close like they make you safe

You don’t fall you lean back in

Like chaos is a friend

You don’t scream you don’t break down

You just slowly let it drag you down

If damage had a signature

You’d sign your name in permanent

You wear it like a second skin

Like something you can’t quit

You say you’re clean you say you’re free

But you still need it

Yeah you call it love you call it air

But it’s the addiction you wear

Don’t look at me like I don’t know

I’ve tasted that same control

It feels like fire feels like truth

Till it starts feeding on you

You don’t need chains when you choose the cage

You don’t need scars when you love the pain

Say what you want I’ve been there too

I just stopped letting it wear me through

You say you’re fine

You say it clean

But you don’t breathe

Unless it’s hurting

You don’t fall apart

You don’t confess

You just keep wearing it

Like a dress