[00:00.66]If I go to Heaven
[00:02.03]It'll probably be a slum
[00:03.84]And all the pretty angels
[00:05.73]Just might be packing guns
[00:07.38]And if I see St Peter
[00:09.06]Will he hit me up for cash
[00:10.77]Will I find the road to Jesus
[00:12.59]Or just lose him in the trash
[00:14.35]
[00:15.04]The Shaggs were right
[00:15.96]
[00:16.57]You're never going to please anybody
[00:17.79]
[00:18.43]Not in this world
[00:19.26]
[00:21.97]If I go to Hell I might find it very dull
[00:24.84]Like an Amway convention
[00:26.54]Or an endless shopping mall
[00:28.37]When all the innocent demons
[00:30.10]Want to poke me with a fork
[00:31.98]Or just put me in a taxi
[00:33.86]And send me to New York
[00:35.23]
[00:36.31]Scientists proved it years ago
[00:38.27]The Shaggs were much better than the Beatles
[00:40.49]
[00:46.41]Maybe I'll return as an iguana
[00:49.67]And lie upon a beach down in the Bahamas
[00:53.20]
[00:57.27]Although ignored in their day
[00:59.35]The Shaggs are now recognised as
[01:01.01]The geniuses they were
[01:03.06]
[01:03.78]I just wanna know what happens when you die
[01:06.94]Do you walk down in a hole
[01:08.50]Or float up to the sky
[01:10.26]Is it just a waste of water
[01:12.04]When your widow cries
[01:13.81]
[01:14.93]Oh don't tell me you've never
[01:16.12]Heard of the Shaggs
[01:17.47]
[01:20.88]If the atheists are right then
[01:22.69]I have no need to worry
[01:24.31]For there is no great being
[01:25.94]Whose favour I must curry
[01:27.84]And I'll be going nowhere once
[01:29.99]They lay me in the earth
[01:31.41]So why waste a Sunday by going to church
[01:34.72]
[01:36.36]If you really wanted to
[01:37.60]You could run out right now
[01:39.03]And buy a Shaggs record
[01:40.23]
[01:41.91]If the atheists are wrong then
[01:43.72]I've got a bill that's due
[01:45.34]So should I be a Christian
[01:46.85]Or a Moslem or a Jew
[01:48.90]Should I spend all day just praying on my knees
[01:52.35]And searching through
[01:53.38]The world for a deity to please
[01:55.85]
[01:58.38]A Shaggs record would be a sound investment
[02:01.08]
[02:06.63]If the atheists are right then
[02:08.52]I have no need to worry
[02:10.02]For there is no great being
[02:11.69]Whose favour I must curry
[02:13.46]
[02:17.12]The fat peoples want
[02:18.58]What the skinny peoples got
[02:19.59]
[02:20.27]The skinny peoples want
[02:21.28]What the fat peoples got
[02:22.44]But all I've ever wanted is
[02:23.87]What the Shaggs got
[02:25.42]Dat Ding and my pal Foot Foot
[02:28.33]
[02:29.28]When I Get To Heaven - The Dead Milkmen