Tune Into The Madness-The Stupendium、Dan Bull
Lyricist: Dan Bull/Gregory James Holgate
Composer: Dan Bull/Gregory James Holgate
Singer:The Stupendium/Dan Bull
Good evening
Do you know any good monsters
Did you ever swerve your car in today's top
speed of 35 miles an hour into an automobile
Do you ever do the dishes for your wife
I should say Not
Mrs Carter donesn't really mind
Washing her teflon-coated pans
New Vital
And fashionable
Fond of children
Well its only natural
Yes You can't get away from it
There are branches everywhere
And it's safe
Yes Sir
Deep down down
Between the trees
Nestled in the leaves
Gleams a TV screen
Near a small lad
Sitting in the tall grass
It's an odd transmission
To be broadcast
Listen as we talk dark thoughts
And soar past the watershed line
Before your bedtime
You'll panic like a rabbit
That is caught in headlights
Reckon we're manic
Of course
You're dead right
You better exercise
More caution next time
Or you'll end up
In tomorrow morning's headlines
Obituary nothing more than
Born and then Died
And not a single family member
Or a friend cried
Tune into the madness
Tune into the madness once more
Tune into the madness
Tune into the madness Encore
This remarkable offer
The first and only one of its kind
Delicious
Nutritious
Breakfast cereals
Shot from guns
Yes sir
You could buy eight additional teaspoons
Oh look who's come for tea
Are you sitting comfortably
All of the children
Better sit still then
'Cause when little kiddies fidget
Then I kill then
Class is now in session
Time you learned your lesson
Stare into the glare
Until your mind is effervescent
Bubbling the troubling
You'll find it less depressing
Open up your eyes
You'll be surprised what you might let in
The violent and the tragic
Hiding in the static
This silent enigmatic child
Had better pack it in
And leave the schedule to the grown-ups
Revel in the pestilence
Auntie beeb throws up
As a result of long continuing research
In commercial explosives
Pepsodent's new improved formula
Cleans teeth whiter than ever
It certainly does
Tune into the madness
Pictures hand-picked to be sickening Queasy
Tune into the madness
Transfixed and bewitched by the flickering TV
Hold up
Don't touch that dial
Look at our isle of muck and bile
With a saviour clad in a paper bag
That must be one ugly child
Gaze into the space
Between the pixels on the screen
There you'll see a place
Between the signal and the screams
Feel the oscillation
Of the crystal in your dreams
Just switch off your brain
And let it sizzle in the beams
These scenes some viewers
May find disturbing
Violent and unnerving
Frighteningly alluring
Slightly stomach-churning
Why would you be turning over
Oh So many programmes
For discerning viewers
Who are just like you
Eyes locked to the box
For the schlock like glue
Shambling in their droves
Scrambling their lobes
Get mangled in the strobe
Till you're cross-eyed too
Here's a message to millions of people
Who are continually pale and washed-out
Weak and run-down
All I do is bring you pounds
and pounds of baby food
Good lean butcher's steak
Very satisfying cake
Impress this fact upon mother
Boys and girls have overactive oil glands
Don't say it like that
You'll make her sound ungainly
Tune into the madness
Tubes swimming with miasmic blackness
Tune into the madness
Sit glued to your viewing apparatus
Izzy
Wizzy
Let's get busy
Such a pity diddy kiddies threw a tizzy
Don't be silly
What's the trouble little Timmy
Itty bitty nippers
Should be giddy for the TV
Strange lights are disguised
In the bright glare
Daytime television's
Hellish in the right mindset
Too much time staring
Will make your eyes square
Any more you'll end up like that child there
Can't toggle off the goggle box
So pop another bottle top
Top up your cup and sup the propaganda
Prost
Mazel Tov
They say it's challenging to break a daily habit
Pacified into paralysis
A state of telly addicts
Maybe one day the cathode rays'll be chromatic
Bringing colour to the pallor
Of the faces in the static
Taking off the mask
My behaviour is erraic
Claiming to be sane
But I'm just asymptomatic
Wait did you hear that
Someone's pacing in the attic
What in the blazes could be making such a racket
Oh I say
You gave me a fright there
I think I'm having another little nightmare
Tune into the madness
Urchins channel surfing
and subservient to the sadness
Zoom in with the cameras
Squirming as the sermon's stirred into
your hippocampus
Cream
Not a soap
Not a liquid
But a dainty cream
It covers everything easily and beautifully
And what an eyeful ther're going to get
Feast your eyes
Till you're anaesthetised
Lead a peaceful life
For the cheapest price
No need to seek advice
Or plea to Jesus Christ
In the deep of night
You'll really see the light
No one observes just how ominous
The world is when monotonous
Channelling the brightest minds
Until they turn witless and punderous
Their aleryness is interred
In this infernalest sarcophagus
The absurd and the preposterous
Burned in by the phosphorus
Uncertain what lurks
Under the surface of your consciousness
Observe it and you'll learn
That it's PERTURBING
SICK and MONSTROUS
Keep surfing through diversions
Uma Thurman's new detergint
Normal service will return
After a word from our sponsors
Ladies What's your problem
Gracious!I've nothing for the Johnsons yet
Keep clam folks
Buy the gifts that will look more
expensive than they are
200 different formulations of dynamite
So powerful that it'll kill a rat
Press this secret button right here
And an authentic western
pistol pops out and fires
Tune into the madness （yes）
A bountiful lineup of schooling
and comedy （Wooo）
Huge wins at the baftas
Bound to be prizes
when you're every nominee
tune into the madness （Gaa）
Tune Into the Madness once more
Tune into the madness （eaaa）
Tune into the madness encore
No guest is ever really happy
Without the right kind of tea
Without the right kind of tea
Well don't keep staring atit （hahaha）
Taste it
Getting high on life
could be habit forming
You just can't grow up
fast enough can you
The end
