The Ballad Of Bob The Snow Golem (Explicit) - Dan Bull
Lyrics by：Dan Bull
Composed by：Dan Bull
In the middle of the village with a household
A little different to the others they weren't as cold
So let's go down below
To meet the only townsfolk made out of snow
He was a clown you know loved pranking bro
Suddenly pouncing making people round say："oh"
His name was Bob and his daily job
Was guarding the town nightly at eight o'clock
But Bob got so bored that he'd lob snowballs at the locals
And although all snow that was thrown
There was frozen nobody really thought it was so cool
Wasn't the most socially appropriate mode of approaching the folk
Who would go to the law court
To report that he broke rules had a vote and of course
They'd enforce he be stonewalled
He was caged and afraid he would wave and say："hey"
To the kids parents shaking their hands and they would make
Them look away just as if he didn't exist
And so Bob made the decision to begin making amends
Said sorry mama never meant to hit you
Never meant to make you cry so could I be freed now
I promise that I will throw no snow
I'll go home keep it on the low low so
This town isn't a no go zone no mo'
Just a cup of cocoa and a ho ho ho
No po po yo just a nice time ah
Though uh oh yo it's the night time ah
And once the sunset's gone the undead come so be afraid
They're such a hungry bunch they want to munch and eat your brains
Nowhere to run and hide no they'll just come inside
Wherever you put your bun they're gonna come and find you
But Bob noticed the bloody loud commotion would have dove in
But wasn't allowed the townsfolk just
Forbode him it was forebodings to know
That he couldn't go no chucking snow so he felt frozen
The zombies closed in it was as though
They were hunting for something enclosures were opened
Pumpkins were jumped there was no clear motive
But phobia punching a pumpkin is odious
Bob took umbrage at his bros being broken and broke those oaths
That he won't throw snow
He was ready to bury any undead in the area
With a bo bo bo bo bo
Go home zombies ain't it obvious
We don't want them we got them good got them gone and with no problem
So the folk bestowed honours
And wrote heroic songs in honour of Bob the Snow Golem
And although they were so fond of him doted on him
They couldn't condone lobbing snow with no punishment
He was thrown back inside like Bo Burnham was trapped in an iron
And stone column no comment
How could you live knowing you've done it
Have you no honour
Got me stuck here 'till the midsummer
That's some folk horror
Folks want to go on about having free will
'Till you put them in the crowd more than three then they're evil
That's when Bob said well then I'll be d**ned
If I let the crowd mentality get me down I'm planning to throw down
You turned me barbaric like a snowcone Conan
Now feel the wrath of the snowman
Brap brap brap Run home and close the doors
I'm chucking frozen balls at you with no remorse
You could have brokered peace but now you've chosen war
I'll suffer no defeat 'till every person falls
So every player be warned this is the perfect storm
And 'till the weather's turning warm
I'll lob those snowballs
At the locals 'till there are no more
