Hello - Tim Minchin
Hello
Welcome to my show
We're glad that you could come
We're gonna have a hoot
We're gonna have some fun
Sit back
Put your feet up and relax
I hope you've had a drink or three
The more you've drunk
The better I will be
And if you have a mobile phone
Please turn it off
Thank you
And if you have tourette's syndrome
Just do whatever it is you people do
And if you are offended by strong language or blasphemy
Maybe you should chuff off home
Cause it's only gonna get worse
Only gonna get worse
Only gonna get worse
From now on
Cunt
My name is Tim
I write funny songs and sing
And if you don't think funny songs are funny
Well I respect your right
To think exactly what you like
But you're sure as sh*t not getting back your money
And if you write for a newspaper I'd just like to say
That I read your publication every single day
And I agree with absolutely everything you say
I think you're the most perspicacious and delightful
Eloquent insightful writer
Writing on the subject of the arts
But if you write a bad review
I promise you I'll come round to your house
And lay turds in all your potted indoor plants
I'll lay turds
In all your plants
Your indoor plants
Your potted indoor plants
Hello
Welcome to my show
I'm glad you all could come come come
It's time for a little audience participation
Sing yeah
Yeah
Sing yeah
Yeah
Sing
Yeah yeah yeah
Yeah yeah yeah
Sing
Ooo yeah
Ooo yeah
Sing I am an audience member
I am an audience member
Why are you making me sing
Why are you making me sing
You self indulgent wanker
You self indulgent wanker
Just get on with the f**king show
Just get on with the f**king show
