Drowning in the Blue Nile
He sent me Downtown Lights
I hadn't heard it in a while
My boredom's bone-deep
This cage was once just fine
Am I allowed to cry
I dream of cracking locks
Throwing my life to the wolves or the ocean rocks
Crashing into him tonight he's a paradox
I'm seeing visions am I bad
Or mad Or wise
What if he's written mine on my upper thigh only in my mind
One slip and falling back into the hedge maze
Oh what a way to die
I keep recalling things we never did
Messy top lip kiss how I long for our trysts
Without ever touching his skin
How can I be guilty as sin
I keep these longings locked
In lowercase inside a vault
Someone told me there's no such thing as bad thoughts
Only your actions talk
These fatal fantasies giving way to labored breath
Taking all of me we've already done it in my head
If it's make-believe
Why does it feel like a vow we'll both uphold somehow
What if he's written mine on my upper thigh only in my mind
One slip and falling back into the hedge maze
Oh what a way to die
My bedsheets are ablaze I've screamed his name
Building up like waves crashing over my grave
Without ever touching his skin
How can I be guilty as sin
What if I roll the stone away
They're gonna crucify me anyway
What if the way you hold me is actually what's holy
If long-suffering propriety is what they want from me
They don't know how you've haunted me so stunningly
I choose you and me religiously
What if he's written mine on my upper thigh only in my mind
One slip and falling back into the hedge maze
Oh what a way to die
I keep recalling things we never did
Messy top lip kiss how I long for our trysts
Without ever touching his skin
How can I be guilty as sin
He sent me Downtown Lights
I hadn't heard it in a while
Am I allowed to cry
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