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I Took a Woman on an Online Date Recently - Has This Ever Happened to You? She Looks Nothing Like Her Online Profile Picture - This Happened to Me. in Her Profile Picture She Wasn’t Crying!!! - SteveWhalen

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I Don’t Know Why I Don’t Get Women, I Look Like the Boy Who Lives Next Door…to a Wendy’s, Folks. Thank You!!! - SteveWhalen

00:10

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We Talked About Women, My Career. You Know What’s Really Hurting Me Is That I’m Fat, I’m Not Gonna Lie About It, I’m a Big Fat Guy. You Wanna Know How Fat I Am?(More) - SteveWhalen

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You Know, You Gotta, You Gotta Do Your Best. I Was at a Bar, I Overheard a Woman Say, “If I Get Drunk I’ll Sleep WithThe Next Guy I See.”so I Bought Her a Few Drinks, Got Her Drunk, She Looked at Me and Said, “Where’s the Next Guy?!?” - SteveWhalen

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Oh No, I’ve Always Had Trouble. You Know Recently, a Very Difficult Situation - I Caught My Girlfriend in Bed WithAnother Comedian. I Asked, I Said, “What Have You Done?!?” He Said, “I Was on Comedy Central...” - SteveWhalen

00:21

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It’s Hard to Relate to People When You’re Fat, Ya Know, I Told Someone to Put Themselves in My Shoes, They Went Missing for Three Weeks!!! What Did You Write Today, over There.(More) - SteveWhalen

00:34

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I’m Not Saying I’m Fat - But When I Went to My Therapist, He Said, “I Don’t Do Couple’s Counseling.” That’s Two People-Shut up Back There. Who Said, ‘Uh.’ can We Get a Pepto Bismol for the Third Row. Come up WithYour Own Sociology Riff.(More) - SteveWhalen

00:27

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A Lot of People Leave When I Perform. I Recently Performed on a Rooftop Show…There Were No Survivors!!! - SteveWhalen

00:10

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I Had to Take the 79 Bus to Get Here. Is It Just Me or Does the 79 Make the 78 Look Like the 53? Am I the Only Person Who Noticed That, I Can’t Be the Only Guy Who Noticed That One.(More) - SteveWhalen

00:19

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For This Next Joke, Oh Lord, He Can’t Save You Now. Somebody Said, “Oh Lord.” Anyway, Um. I Need a Beautiful Volunteer from the Audience for This One.(More) - SteveWhalen

04:02

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Dates Don’t Work out, Ya Know, Sometimes It Can Be a Little Interesting. I Once Dated a Woman Who Was Really into Sudoku…During the Date?!? Now I Thought That Was…I Mean I Heard Dating Is a Numbers Game but This Is Ridiculous!!! Oh Man… - SteveWhalen

00:15

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I Told My Agent to Book Me for a Charity Like the Ones WithThe Sick Kids That You Can Visit. He Said, “Make a Wish?” I Said, “Losing Fifty Pounds Would Be Nice.” - SteveWhalen

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Try to Be Silly on a Date, You Try to Be Silly…Uh….I Took a Woman on a Date, She Said, “What Do You Do for a Living?” I Said,"If I Told You, I’d Have to Kill You.” She Said, “Please Tell Me.” - SteveWhalen

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I Write My Jokes on Receipts Sometimes, That Can Be Pretty Awkward. I Go Back to the Cvs, She Says, “Why Does Your Uh, Receipt Say, “Big League Chew” and “What’s the Deal WithBig League Chew?”(More) - SteveWhalen

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You Guys Are Cool.We’re Gonna Have Fun.We’re Gonna Have Fun.but I Shouldn’t Make Fun. Maybe I Shouldn’t Have Too Much Fun.Ya Know,I’ve Always Had Trouble WithTheLadies.I Took a Woman on a Date Recently.She Said,“Can I Buy a Bottle of Wine?”(More) - SteveWhalen

00:16

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I Recently Did a Corporate Gig for Apple - They Thought My Humor Was Too Pc, Folks, Thank You Very Much!!! I’m a Comedy Professional, Don’t Try This at Home. - SteveWhalen

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Show of Hands - We Got Any Women in a Relationship? Show of Hands, Anyone. Don’t Be Shy. Don’t Be Shy. Ma’am, Is That, Is That Your Boyfriend. Sorry? No I Heard Ya, I Just Said, “I’m Sorry”!!! - SteveWhalen

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Even When It’s a Slam Dunk I Can’t Get It, Even When It’s a Slam Dunk. a Prostitute Went up to Me, She Said, “You Wanna Have a Fun Time?” I Said, “Yeah!” She Said, “There’s a Bowling Alley Down the Block!!! - SteveWhalen

00:16

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My Agent Calls Me up, He Says, “Steve, Talk to Me Baby.” I Said, Jonny, You Called Me, He Said, “Oh Yeah”, and He Hung up the Phone. - SteveWhalen

00:09

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Even When You’re in a Serious Relationship You Can Tell Things Are Gonna Go Bad. One Time I Was at a Restaurant and I Asked the Band to Play Our Song. the Band Broke up!!! - SteveWhalen

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