[00:00.00]Master Of The House - Sacha Baron Cohen/Helena Bonham Carter/Les Misérables Cast
[00:05.61]My band of soaks my den of dissolute's
[00:13.37]My dirty jokes my always pissed as newts
[00:22.17]My sons of whores spend there lives in my inn
[00:36.13]Homing pigeons homing in
[00:40.38]They fly through my doors
[00:47.50]And they crawl out on all fours
[00:53.38]Welcome Monsieur sit yourself down
[00:56.69]And meet the best innkeeper in town
[01:01.95]As for the rest all of 'em crooks:
[01:05.26]Rooking their guests and crooking the books
[01:10.77]Seldom do you see
[01:14.51]Honest men like me
[01:17.39]A gent of good intent
[01:20.45]Who's content to be
[01:24.40]Master of the house doling out the charm
[01:27.21]Ready with a handshake and an open palm
[01:30.03]Tells a saucy tale makes a little stir
[01:33.09]Customers appreciate a bon-viveur
[01:35.78]Glad to do a friend a favor
[01:38.91]Doesn't cost me to be nice
[01:41.84]But nothing gets you nothing
[01:43.40]Everything has got a little price
[01:47.68]Master of the house keeper of the zoo
[01:50.43]Ready to relieve 'em of a sou or two
[01:53.30]Watering the wine making up the weight
[01:56.12]Pickin' up their knick-knacks when they can't see straight
[01:59.03]Everybody loves a landlord
[02:01.72]Everybody's bosom friend
[02:04.84]I do whatever pleases
[02:06.22]Jesus Won't I bleed 'em in the end
[02:09.06]Master of the house quick to catch yer eye
[02:11.81]Never wants a passerby to pass him by
[02:14.69]Servant to the poor butler to the great
[02:17.51]Comforter philosopher and lifelong mate
[02:20.38]Everybody's boon companion
[02:23.01]Everybody's chaperone
[02:25.95]But lock up your valises
[02:27.38]Jesus Won't I skin you to the bone
[02:30.70]Food beyond compare Food beyond belief
[02:33.39]Mix it in a mincer and pretend it's beef
[02:36.28]Kidney of a horse liver of a cat
[02:39.21]Filling up the sausages with this and that
[02:42.39]Residents are more than welcome
[02:45.02]Bridal suite is occupied
[02:47.93]Reasonable charges
[02:49.09]Plus some little extras on the side
[02:52.15](Oh Santa )
[02:53.91]Charge 'em for the lice extra for the mice
[02:56.61]Two percent for looking in the mirror twice
[02:59.73]Here a little slice there a little cut
[03:02.23]Three percent for sleeping with the window shut
[03:05.17]When it comes to fixing prices
[03:08.18]There are a lot of tricks I knows
[03:11.12]How it all increases all them bits and pieces
[03:13.92]Jesus It's amazing how it grows
[03:18.78]Oh sorry love
[03:21.53]Let's get something done about that
[03:26.59]I used to dream that I would meet a prince
[03:31.23]But God Almighty have you seen what's happened since
[03:38.92]Master of the house Isn't worth my spit
[03:44.17]Comforter philosopher' and lifelong sh*t
[03:49.27]Cunning little brain regular Voltaire
[03:54.28]Thinks he's quite a lover but there's not much there
[03:59.65]What a cruel trick of nature landed me with such a louse
[04:06.97]God knows how I've lasted living with this bastard in the house
[04:11.81]Master of the house
[04:12.87]Master and a half
[04:14.35]Comforter philosopher
[04:15.85]Don't make me laugh
[04:17.16]Servant to the poor butler to the great
[04:19.92]Hypocrite and toady and inebriate
[04:22.98]Everybody bless the landlord
[04:26.24]Everybody bless his spouse
[04:28.80]Everybody raise a glass
[04:32.17]Raise it up the master's arse
[04:34.53]Everybody raise a glass to the Master of the House