The World is a Jerk-Offer's Dream (Explicit)

There’s soft cotton bedsheets and hand lotion ads

The girl in the Land o’ Lakes logo

The associate Susan who works with my dad

Shoulders bare in the holiday staff photo

There’s plump red tomatoes, ripe peaches and pears

So voluptuous they’re downright obscene!

With a foul fertile mind, my dear boy, you will find

The world is a jerk-offer’s dream

Yeah, yeah, I get. So like, anything can be erotic if you just –

I’m not done!

Okay. Jesus!

He will wank himself silly to the sweet sounds of Siri

Then go again with that trollop Alexa

The mere shape of a cloud has his dick standing proud

Asking, “Care for a tug?” I’ll say, “yes, sah!”

So when you want to spank but you’ve nil in your bank

And your willy seems all out of steam

Just look ‘round and observe with the eye of a perv

And make filthy the pure and clean

Cuz the world is a jerk offer’s dream