Talking Bear Mountain Picnic Massacre Blues (Live)

I saw it advertised one day

That the Bear Mountain picnic was comin' my way

Come along 'n' take a trip

We'll bring you up there on a ship

Bring the wife and family

Bring the whole kids

Yippee

Well

I run right down 'n' bought a ticket

To this called the Bear Mountain Picnic

But little did I realize

I was in for a pleasant

Funny surprise

Had nothin' to do with a picnic

Didn't come close to a mountain

And I hate bears

Took the wife 'n' kids down to the pier

There were six thousand people there

Everybody had ticket for the trip

Oh well I said

It's a pretty big ship

Besides

Anyhow

The more the merrier

Well

We all got on 'n' what d'ya think

That big old boat started t' sink

More people kept a pilin' on

That old ship was a goin' down

Funny way t' start a picnic

Well

I soon lost track of m' kids 'n' wife

So many people I never saw in m' life

That old ship sinkin' down in the water

There were six thousand people tryin' t' kill each other

Dogs a barkin'

Cats a screamin'

Women a yellin'

Men a flyin'

Fists a flyin'

Paper flyin'

Cops a comin'

Me runnin'

Maybe we just better call off the picnic

I got shoved down

Got pushed around

All I remember was a moanin' sound

Don't remember one thing more

All I remember's wakin' up on the shore

M' arms n' legs are broken

My feet were splintered

My head was cracked

Couldn't walk

Couldn't talk

Smell

Feel

Couldn't see

Didn't know where I was

I was bald

Quite lucky to be alive

Though

Well

Feelin' like I just climbed outa m' casket

I grabbed back hold of m' picnic basket

Took the wife 'n' kids 'n' started home

Wishin' I'd never got up that mornin'

Now

I don't care just a what you do

If you wanta have a picnic

That's up t' you

But don't tell me about it

I don't wanta hear it

'Cause

See

I just lost all m' picnic spirit

Stay in m' kitchen

Have a picnic in the bathroom

Now

It don't seem to me quite so funny

What some people are gonna do f'r money

There's a bran' new gimmick every day

Just t' take somebody's money away

I think we oughta take some o' these people

And put 'em on a boat

Send 'em up to Bear Mountain for a picnic