My daddy was a backwoods self made type
Never went to school couldn't read nor write
But made a fortune selling hogs and was suspicious of education
So when I told him I's goin' off to school
He said “Well, you'll just become some citified fool
So don't expect no help from me son and no financial remuneration”
Now my dad was tight but he loved his dogs that's true
Yeah, and his favorite of the pack was called Ole Blue
So I called my dad when I got to college
Said,"I know you don't think much of human knowledge
But they got a course down here where they can teach dogs to speak
Now I don't mean speak like bark for a bone
Naw, they say these dogs can carry on an intelligent conversation...
And some even go on to teach”
“And when I heard of that course, of course I thought of you
And how great it would be for you to sit and talk to Ole Blue”
Well the line fell silent and I thought all was lost
But he finally spoke up and said “Uhh...what's that cost”
I said “Dad it's a bargain at $5,000...per semester”
Well he didn't balk and he didn't complain
And Ole Blue showed up on the very next train
And that's how my dad became the proud investor
In the higher education of Ole Blue
A story that if it's not, it ought to be true
About a fiscal windfall situation of my very own creation
The inspiration that I call the education of Ole Blue
And the money just kept on rollin' in-for eight semesters-$40,000!!! Woo!
All too soon it was time to graduate
And the day had dawned I’d come to hate
The day I had to go home and face my dad
When I stepped off the train he said,"Where's Ole Blue"
(Whistle) “Come here boy I wanta talk to you”
Then I swallowed hard and said “Pop I’ve got some news and I’m afraid it's bad”
“You see comin' home on the train Ole Blue was skokin' his pipe and readin' the New York times
Then took off his glasses and said"Are you aware boy of all your daddy's crimes"
He said “He's a mass murderer, just ask any hog
And he treated my mama just like a dog
Rubbed my nose in stuff you wouldn't believe and made me sleep on the hard cold ground
But I can talk now and his days are through
'Cause I’m gonna tell your mama a thing or two
About his secret drinkin' habits yeah, and his affair with the widow Brown”
When I heard Blue say those things pop, something snapped inside my brain
So I grabbed him up and I strangled him and threw him off the train
My dad looked at me with his eyes ablaze
His face contorted like someone crazed
And it didn't look like he'd believed a word I’d said
Then he grabbed my coat and pulled me up real close
Said “Boy there's just one think I want to know (pause)
Are you real sure that no good lyin' flea bag's dead”
And that's the story of the education of Ole Blue
A story that if it's not it ought to be true
About a fiscal windfall situation of my very own creation
The inspiration that I call
The education of Ole Blue
The inspiration that I call
The education of Ole Blue...
