Oh Drake I'm sorry Amber
It's like Brad to have to have the last word
Sorry I'm late What happened
We wanna see the end
I want you Drake
I know you do
But we can never be together that way
What
I'm actually your half brother
So what happens next
I get the medical award for separating the Siamese twins
Then Amber and I go to Venezuela to meet our other half brother Ramon
Where I find the world's biggest emerald It's really big
But it's cursed
So cool
God that is good TV
The One Where Dr Ramoray Dies
2 18
Pheebs play with me
This game is grotesque
Twenty armless guys joined at the waist by a steel bar
Forced to play soccer forever
Hello Human rights violation
Don't feel so bad After playing
I break out the plastic women and everybody has a good time
Why don't you play with your roommate
He's not a big fan of foosball
Are we not getting along with the new boy
No he's all right He spends most of his time in his room
That's because you haven't gotten to know him
Let's remedy that shall we
We don't need to lt'll be fun
What was that
I thought it'd be fun if we had beers and got to know each other
All right
Oh good Okay
Oh no I have to go because I'm late for
My Green Eggs and Ham discussion group
Tonight it's Why he would not eat them on a train
Have fun Bye That was so lame
I know
Okay talk to him
So you think that Speed Racer guy gets a lot of tickets or
That's good So who broke up with who
I broke up with her
She actually thought Sean Penn was the capital of Cambodia
When everybody knows that the capital of Cambodia is
It's not Sean Penn
I got a funny one
My last girlfriend Tilly We're eating breakfast right
I made these pancakes Like 50 pancakes
All of a sudden she turns to me and saysEddie
I don't wanna see you anymore
It was literally like she had reached into my chest
Ripped out my heart and smeared it all over my life
There was this incredible abyss and I'm falling
I keep falling and I don't think I'm ever gonna stop
That wasn't such a funny story
And a crusty old man Said I'll do what I can
And the rest of the rats Played maracas
That's it Thanks Good night
Phoebe's got another job right
Great set tonight Pheebs
I know
We should get going
We should too I've got patients at 8 in the morning
You know how we always stay at your apartment
I don't know I don't have my jammies
You don't need them
My baby sister ladies and gentlemen
Shut up I'm happy
Oh this is so nice I have to make a speech
Of all the guys that Monica has been with and that is a lot
I like you the best
Thank you Pheebs That's very sweet
You hear that
She likes me best And apparently there have been a lot
Not a lot
Phoebe's kidding Phoebe's crazy
Phoebe's dead
I'm looking for Eddie Manoick
He's not here right now I'm Chandler
Can I take a message or Or a fish tank
Thanks
Come on in
I'm Tilly
I gather by that Oh he told you about me
Yeah your name came up
In a conversation that terrified me to my very soul
He's kind of intense
Yes Hey can I ask you is Eddie a little
A little what
Bit country
Come on in you roomie
Hello Tilly
Eddie I just came by to drop off your tank
That was very thoughtful of you
It's very thoughtful
Well okay then
I'm gonna go Bye
So we getting a fish
You had ***with her
Check it out check it out
Soap Opera Digest That's one of my favorite digests
New Doc on the Block Days of our Lives Joey Tribbiani
Cool picture
Oh I look good
Is this true That you write a lot of your own lines
Well kind of yeah
Remember last week when Alex was in the accident
The line in the script was
If we don't get this woman to a hospital she's going to die
But I made itIf this woman doesn't get to a hospital
She's not gonna live
Oh okay I see what you did there
Aren't you afraid the writers will be kind of mad when they read this
I never thought about the writers The scripts just come to my house
But you know what
This makes me look good which makes the show look good
Which makes the writers look good So how could they be mad
Makes up most of his lines
Son of a
Write this jerk ****
I fall down an elevator shaft
What does this mean I fall down an elevator shaft
I don't know I just bring the scripts
They can't kill me I'm Francesca's long lost son
Right
Could you sign
No No way I'm not signing that
I don't think that will affect the plot of the show
All right I'm just gonna go
Sorry
Well it wasn't that many guys
If you consider how many guys there actually are
It's a very small percentage
It's not that big a deal I was just curious
Good night Good night Richard
Good luck Mon
Before I tell you you tell me how many women you've been with
Two
Two Two
How is that possible I mean
Have you seen you
I mean what can I say
I was married to Barbara for 30 years my high school sweetheart
Now you That's two
Two it is
Time for bed I'm gonna brush my teeth
No wait a minute now
Come on it's your turn
Oh come on
You know I don't need the actual number Just a ballpark
Okay it is definitely less than a ballpark
I am so glad I'm not Monica right now
Tell me about it
So what's your magic number
Come on you know everyone I've been with All both of them
Well there's you
Better not be doing these in order
Billy Dreskin Pete Carny
Barry
Paolo
Oh yes the weenie from Turinie
Honey are you jealous of Paolo
I'm so much happier with you than I ever was with him
Really Oh please
That Paolo thing was barely a relationship
All it really was was just meaningless animal ***
Okay you know that sounded so much better in my head
I didn't sleep with your ex girlfriend
That's exactly what someone who slept with her would say
This is nuts Crazy She came over for two minutes
Where's Buddy
Buddy
My fish Buddy
There was no fish when she dropped it off
This is unbelievable
You sleep with my ex girlfriend insult my intelligence by lying
Then you kill my fish My Buddy
I didn't kill your fish
Look Eddie
Would you look at what I'm doing
Now that can't be smart
So we're just gonna take this guy right off you
And put him here in Mr Pocket
Tangelo
That's it That's the giant number you were afraid to tell me
You had me thinking it was like a fleet
You're okay with it
Oh honey I'm fine
Okay about that two
What
All right
What about my two
It just seems like a really small number
Right
Don't you have a lot of wild oats to sow
Or is that what you're doing with me Oh my God Am I an oat
Honey you are not an oat
I don't know I guess I'm just not an oat guy
I've only slept with women I love
You've only slept with two people
Right
You know I love you too right
Now I do
Ross please listen to me
You are so much better for me than Paolo ever was
You care about me you're loving you make me laugh
If I make you laugh here's an idea
Invite Paolo to have a romp in the sack
And I'll stand in the corner and tell knock knock jokes
What we have is special All Paolo and I ever had was
Animal ***
So what are you saying
There's not even like a little animal
Not even like
Chipmunk ***
Try to hear me okay
I'm not gonna lie to you
Lt was good with Paolo Knock knock
But what you and I have is so much better
We have tenderness we have intimacy we connect
You know I swear
This is the best
I have ever had
Until now
Richard told me he loved me
Oh my God I know
Honey that's great
I know
I just can't find Top drawer
Hurry Why You need one too
Found them
There's only one
We'll be right there We're just trying to decide something
They're trying to decide something Good Good good
So was your mustache Did it used to be different
How do you you know keep it so neat
I have a comb
What is that A mustache comb
Thank you
Okay I will do your laundry for one month
I will I will I will
I will clean the apartment for two months
I'll give this to you now if you tell me where we keep the dustpan
So were you in Nam
Rock paper scissors Gotcha
One two three
Yes
Fine Go have ***
No You have got it completely wrong
John Savage was Deer Hunter no legs
Jon Voight was Coming Home couldn't feel his legs
You've got it totally the other way around my friend Jon Voight
Honey What
Shall we
It's not gonna happen
They're doing it tonight We can do it tomorrow
In the future if I could see the schedule beforehand
So when I woke up this morning
He'd stolen all the insoles out of my shoes
Why
He thinks I slept with his ex girlfriend and killed his fish
Why would you kill his fish
Because sometimes after you sleep with someone
You have to kill a fish
Chandler honey
I'm sorry
Can we watch Joey's show now please
Wait He's not here yet
He knows what happens
I'm fine about my problem now by the way
Amber
I'll always be there for you
Oh Drake
First the medical award now this
Some guys are just lucky I guess
Well then
I guess that's me
Anyone else need to go on the elevator Dr Horton Dr Wall
They only said you
Oh okay All right
I love you
Yeah whatever
Oh no
Drake look out
Did they just kill off Joey No
Now maybe
Come on Open up We want to talk to you
I don't feel like talking
Come on We care about you
We're worried about you And some of us really have to pee
I'm sorry Joey
Listen sorry about your death That really sucks
We came over as soon as we saw How could you not tell us
I don't know I was kind of hoping no one would ever find out
Well maybe they could find a way to bring you back
They said that when they found my body my brain was so smashed in
That the only doctor who could've saved me was me
It's supposed to be some kind of irony
But Joey you're gonna be fine
You don't need that show It was just a dumb soap opera
This was the greatest thing that ever happened to me
Yes I was going to incorporate that
Here's Monica She'll have something nice to say
I straightened out your shower curtain so you won't get mildew
What To me that's nice
It'll be okay You know that
No I don't
It's like you work your whole life for something
And you think that when you get it
But this so was
It changed everything
Like the other day I got this credit card application
And I was pre approved
I've never been pre approved for anything in my life
I'm sorry man
I don't know if this'll mean anything to you
But you'll always be pre approved with us
That means nothing to me
Pecan sandy Just made them
Yeah all right
Are these raisins
Sure why not
Listen Eddie
I've been thinking about our living situation
Why are you smiling
I got a little surprise Look There's a new fishy
I named him
Chandler you know after you
Well that's not even a real fish
No that's a Goldfish cracker
So what's your point man
Okay good night
You big freak of nature
Brisk tonight Oh man
Let's never speak of this You got it
