Welcome to the internet
Have a look around
Anything that brain of yours
Can think of can be found
We've got mountains of content
Some better some worse
If none of it's of interest to you
You'd be the first
Welcome to the internet
Come and take a seat
Would you like to see the news
Or any famous women's feet
There's no need to panic this isn't a test
Just nod or shake your head and we'll do the rest
Welcome to the internet
What would you prefer
Would you like to fight for Civil rights
Or tweet a racial slur
Be happy
Be horny
Be bursting with rage
We've got a million different ways to engage
Welcome to the internet
Put your cares aside
Here's a tip for straining pasta
Here's a nine-year-old who died
We've got movies and doctors and fantasy sports
And a bunch of colored pencil drawings
Of all the different characters
In Harry Potter f**king each other
Welcome to the internet
Hold on to your socks
'Cause a random guy
Just kindly sent you photos of his c**k
They are grainy
And off putting he just sent you more
Don't act surprised
You know you like it you w***e
See a man beheaded get offended see a shrink
Show us pictures of your children
Tell us every thought you think
Start a rumor buy a broom
Or send a death threat to a boomer
Or DM a girl and groom her
Do a zoom or find a tumor
Here's a healthy breakfast option
You should kill your mom
Here's why women never f**k you
Here's how you can build a bomb
Which power ranger are you
Take this quirky quiz
Obama sent the immigrants
To vaccinate your kids
Could I interest you in everything
All of the time
A little bit of everything all of the time
Apathy's a tragedy and boredom is a crime
Anything and everything all of the time
Could I interest you in everything
All of the time
A little bit of everything all of the time
Apathy's a tragedy and boredom is a crime
Anything and everything all of the time
You know it wasn't always like this
Not very long ago just before your time
Right before the towers fell
Circa '99
This was catalogs travel blogs
A chatroom or two
We set our sights
And spent our nights waiting for you
You insatiable you
Mommy let you use her ipad you were barely two
And it did all the things we designed it to do
Now look at you look at you
You you unstoppable watchable
Your time is now your
Inside's out honey how you grew
And if we stick together who knows what we'll do
It was always the plan to put the world
In your hand
Could I interest you in everything
All of the time
A bit of everything all of the time
Apathy's a tragedy and boredom is a crime
Anything and everything all of the time
Could I interest you in everything
All of the time
A little bit of everything all of the time
Apathy's a tragedy and boredom is a crime
Anything and everything
And anything and everything
And anything and everything
All of the time
