Beggar (Explicit)

Will I get used to this

Always having dreams of where I die

Waking panicked half alive

Broken bones in my fingers

Crawling out of bed just to survive

To exhausted cannot fight

Don't wanna be this don't wanna be that

Yea this life is ****ing mine

Get back and let me decide

Feels like im just cursed in this body

Hold a second give me five

Can I ****ing feel alive

Cus I don't understand this, I don't understand this

I think the pressures getting through to me

I think im stuck in a place between

Im sick of begging ****ing on my knees

Cus I would never wish this, would never wish this

On ****ing anyone who ****ing breathes

You'll live a life always filled with deceit

Now paranoid my only enemy is me

Tho nothing feels real online

I live there all the ****in time

If only they really knew me

I'd hate to really know me

But

Its as real as it is everywhere else

I know I aint the same mother ****er that I used to be

Now its white wine sippin just to put myself to sleep

****, if you saw, memories, you'd be under deep

Thankful I'm alive, but it hurts, **** I cannot breathe

I know I aint the same mother ****er that I used to be

Now its white wine sippin just to put myself to sleep

****, if you saw memories

You'd be 6 feet deep

And knocking on the gates of hell

I am breaking

Someone save me

Riv and seph, got my back, ima make it

I can shake this

Feeling of abasement

Knowing I got homies I can trust, ima make it