A Good Excuse for a Bad Picnic

Hot dogs sweatin' more'n beer in a can

Got a bit'a mustard drippin'

Off my hand

Outfield grass lookin' way too bright

Sunburn sets in 'fore

They turn on the lights

Ain't checked the score

Since inning two

Folks cheered, so a'course

I cheered too

I think the home team's dressed in blue

But I'm just here

For the beer and the view

A good excuse for a bad picnic

A three-hour break from statistics

They pass the peanuts

I pass the time

Ain't watchin' the game

But I'm doin' just fine

A good excuse for a bad picnic

Some guy just whiffed it

But I missed it

Cracker Jack's stale

But I don't really care

Just a slow day spent

In a fold-out chair

A kid two rows down

Dropped ice cream

Some drunk belted an obscenity

I don't know what balks are

But don't really care

So long as this thing keeps

My drink right there

Some guy just screamed

"That was outside!"

I nodded and quietly rolled my eyes

Bases are loaded, or so I'm told

Hot dog's gone and my beer's still cold

A good excuse for a bad picnic

Ten bucks a brew's downright sadistic

Pass the ketchup, sure, n' pass the time

Ain't followin' the game

But I'm doin' just fine

A good excuse for a bad picnic

Some guy stole third

But I missed it

Someone near's screamin'

Lots just booed

Just tap me when

That vendor brings food

Now, I ain't sayin' baseball's bad

I just like my entertainment

A little more entertainin'

But if sittin' outside

With a Coors's a sin

Then go ahead, Lord

Strike me in!

A good excuse for a bad picnic

A three-hour break

From daily logistics

Pass the peanuts

Yeah, pass the time

Ain't watchin' the game

But I'm doin' just fine

A good excuse for a bad picnic

We may have just won, but I missed it

Most folks'r dancin', others seem sad

I guess I'll clap along like I give a damn

Who's playin' again? Oh yeah

Yeah, yeah, let's go uh them