Welcome to my mind hotel, I’ll show you the way
So make yourself at home and I hope that you enjoy your stay
Any stranger that approaches brings a joyous day
Please forgive the neglect that’s left it in a disordered state
I’m always eyeing for friends or lovers to tell
About this private confinement that isn’t just a hotel
(It’s never just a hotel) hell with rap it’s a given
That I have your permission just to be self indulgent as hell
Step up, into the lobby, first thing that you see
Is quite a modernized arrangement that is hip and unique
With accommodations for many, feels inviting and friendly
Designed for social settings, but it’s nicer when empty
My thoughts echo off the walls
Volume up, and Ballroom 1 becomes a concert hall
When darkness falls, I try to draw a hard line
Between my dreams and planning events that aren’t mine
To the left is the fitness center
It’s a lot less used than the business center
It’s a bit disheveled
Not the best compared to other hotels
But I’m pressured to frequent it for my health and to be thin as well
If you forget an essential or get hungry
Don’t forget to come by the neglected section of sundries
Where they’ll remind you that your memory is worsening
Losing **** you really need, holding on to worthless things
The swimming pool’s perfect for a family
This is likely where I’d bring my kids, if I had any
Thought of it before, largely an act to please them
Water over my head, I’d drown in a lack of freedom
That’s the gist of what comprises our facilities for public use
If you liked it, I’ll reveal to you some ugly truths
There’s parts that few will ever see, dusty from disuse
I trust you, let’s go up to the rooms
At times you’ll spot a zombie walking down the hallway, that’s some scary shit
Arms and legs for my therapist but I don’t tell him this
I act like I changed, lie, and backslide
Bask in the shame embattling my life at bath time
I’m embarrassed by my taste for bad music and men
In the eyes of blackpillers a max six out of ten
Embarrassed by oversharing and landing in hot water
Embarrassed I suck at music, but more that I’m not a doctor
Hoarder by birth, keeper of archives
Locked in this coded safe, several folders deep in a hard drive
Are Terabytes of data that stay there accumulating dust
I can’t delete, even the really humiliating stuff
Maybe surprisingly there’s quite a bit of closet space
Despite my dispassion for fashion I need all this space
This room is heaven on earth for intrusive elephants
I got a living tombstone’s worth of spooky skeletons
You want an artist with a perfect past?
Well that’s too bad. I punch up, but didn’t always do that
At any moment someone’s gonna nose into my private affairs
Start reporting what they find over there
Got a full length mirror just see my defects up close
All the pores, all the scars, yeah I got truckloads
**** clothes, I see more clearly when I’m naked
That who I am inside’s what other people make it
There’s a nice king bed, it’s a shame I always sleep alone
I wouldn’t know love if it came to meet me on its own
Convinced there’s no one else on planet earth that matches all parameters
I travel through paramours like a passenger
Below the balcony’s where the fears in my heart reside
I’m scared of losing the ones I love to the march of time
I’m scared of losing the one, I’m scared of being no one
I’m scared I peaked way too early and it’s keeping me frozen
I’m scared I’ll never bridge that gap between my skills and my goals
I’m scared my online addiction will leave my brain full of holes
Scared I’m starting to be fixed in my beliefs
Scrolling echo chambers on Reddit, digging my heels deep
Scared I’m getting out of touch and too old for the game
Scared I’m missing out on TikTok fame
Scared I’ll be a disappointment to the family, or worse, myself
Scared you’ll leave cause I’m beyond any help, well suit yourself
Wait, you wanna stay?
Okay.
That’s fine.
Don’t say I didn’t warn you if you change your mind.
