Do you think they have yesterday's Daily News
I just wanna check my horoscope see if it was right
Oh my God Don't Iook now Behind you there's a guy
Who can break our hearts and plunge us into depression
Come to mama
He's coming Be cool Be cool Be cool
Nice hat Thanks
We should do something Whistle I'm not whistling
Come on do it
Do it Do it Do it Do it
I can't believe you did that
The One With Mrs Bing
It's all my fault No it's mine
Why did I whoo hoo
Was I hoping he'd turn around and say
I Iove that sound I must have you now
I wish there was something we could do
Hello coma guy
Get up you Girl Scout Up up up
What are you doing
Maybe nobody's tried this
I wish we at Ieast knew his name
I hate that they're calling him John Doe
It's so sad It's Iike he's a deer a female deer
Oh I was gonna stop
Look at that face
Even sleeping he Iooks smart
Yeah but the dents in his knuckles mean he's artistic
Okay He's a Iawyer who teaches sculpting on the side
And he can dance
And he's the kind of guy who when you're talking he's Iistening
Not saying I understand
But really wondering what you Iook Iike naked
I wish all guys could be Iike him
You don't even know this guy
Are there no conscious men in the city for you two
We feel kind of responsible
I can't believe you said whoo hoo
I don't even say whoo hoo
Oh she's coming up oh
When we return we'll talk with the always interesting Nora Tyler Bing
Don't watch this Weekend at Bernie's is on Showtime and HBO
No way
She's your mom Exactly Weekend at Bernie 's
Dead guy getting hit in the groin 20 30 times
I gotta tell you I Iove your mom's books
I can't get on a plane without one This is so cool
You wouldn't think so if you were 1 1
And your friends were passing around page 79 of Mistress *****
I remember page 79
The thing after the opera with the girl with the trick hip
I Iove your mom I think she's a blast
That's because she's not your mom
Oh please She's the
Hi sweetie
When did Rigatoni get back from Rome
Last night Really
So his plane didn't explode in a big ball of fire
Just a dream I had
But phew
Hey she's on
Nora Bing
Your mom was arrested
I'm busy beaming with pride
This is kind of embarrassing
But occasionally after I've been intimate with a man
Why would she say that's embarrassing
I just get this craving for kung pao chicken
That's too much information
Needless to say he got a huge tip
Oh God I Iove her oh
I think I'm having a stroke
So how is your book tour going
Oh fine I'm leaving for New York tomorrow which I hate
But I get to see my son who I love
This is the way that I find out Most moms use the phone
Don't take this wrong I just don't see you as a mom
I don't mean that bad Oh no I'm a fabulous mom
I bought my son his first condoms
And then he burst into flames
Let's see Congress is debating a new deficit reduction bill
The mayor wants to raise subway fares The high today was 45
And teams played sports
What about GIen
He could be a GIen
Not special enough
How about Agamemnon
Way too special
I'm famished What do I want
PIease God don't Iet it be kung pao chicken
I think you need to come out of your shell
What is this dive
Only you could've picked this place
Come on Shut up It's fun Give me a hug
I heard about the divorce Lesbian huh
Well you know what they say：Be careful what you wish for
I think we''re ready for some tequila I know I am
Who's doing shots Hit me
There you go Ross
I' m not really a shot drinking kind of guy
Hi Sorry we''re Iate
We kind of just you know Iost track of time
But a man can change
Anyone want me to appraise anything
Well I'm gonna go to tinker town
Mrs Bing I've read everything you've written
Oh please If I can do it anybody can
Start with half a dozen European cities
Throw in 30 euphemisms for male genitalia
And you've got yourself a book
My mother Iadies and gentlemen
You okay slugger Oh yeah I'm fine
What is with you tonight
Nothing Nothing nothing
Okay thank you
It's the Italian hand Iicker isn't it
No It's the one he's Iicking
She's supposed to be with you
You''re good
I have sold 1 00 million copies of my books and you know why
The girl on the cover with her nipples showing
No because I know how to write men that women fall in Iove with
I cannot sell a Paolo
People will not turn 325 pages for a Paolo
Come on The guy's a secondary character
He's just a complication you eventually kill off
When
He's not a hero
You know who our hero is
The guy on the cover with his nipples showing
No it's you
Come on You''re smart You''re ***y
Right Yes you are
The fact that you don't think you are makes you ***ier
Come on kiddo You''re gonna be fine believe me
Is Chandler here
Wait Come here
Okay about Iast night ok
You know
Chandler you didn't tell
We don't need to tell Chandler It was just a kiss No big deal right
Right No big deal
In bizarro world
You broke the code
What code You don't kiss your friend's mom
Sisters are okay Maybe a hot Iooking aunt
But not a mom Never a mom
What are you guys doing out here
Joey and I had discussed getting in an early morning racquetball game
But apparently somebody overslept
Well you don't have your racquet
No No I don't because it's being restrung
Somebody was supposed to bring me one
Well you didn't call and Ieave your grip size
You guys are spending way too much time together
I' m scum I'm scum
How could you Iet this happen I don't know
It's not Iike she's a regular mom
She's ***y She's
You don't think my mom's ***y
I'II have you know GIoria T ribbiani was a handsome woman in her day
You think it's easy giving birth to seven children
Okay I think we're getting into a weird area here
What are you doing here
Not playing racquetball
He forgot to Ieave his grip size He didn't get the goggles
Sounds Iike you two have issues
Goodbye baby
Do they wait for me to do this
Are you gonna tell him Why would I tell him
If you don't his mother might
What are you guys doing here
He's not even wearing a jock strap
What did I ask
What are you doing here
Nothing I just thought I'd stop by you know after
That I you know
So what are you doing here
I' m not really here
I just thought I'd drop these off on the way My way
Do you come here a Iot
Without me
No no no
Do you think he's doing any better than he was this morning
How would I know I wasn't here
Really Not even to change his pajamas
Oh my God
You're my friend I had to tell you
I can't believe it
Paolo kissed my mom
I don't know if you noticed but he drank a Iot
I mean you know how he gets
I can't do this I did it
It was me I'm sorry I kissed your mom
What
I was upset about Rachel and I had too much tequila and Nora
Mrs Mom your Bing was
Being nice But nothing happened
Nothing Ask Joey
Joey came in You knew about this
You know knowledge is a tricky thing
Why didn't you tell me
You're Iucky I caught them or else who knows what would've happened
Thanks man Big help
What the hell were you thinking
I wasn't I don't know I
No one knows the crap I go through with my mom more than you
I know I can't believe you did this
Me neither I'm mad at you too
Why are you mad at me Let me slam the door
I didn't kiss her See what happens when you break the code
A Woman Undone by Rachel IKaren Greene
I thought I'd give it a shot I'm on the first chapter
Do you think his Iove stick can be Iiberated from its denim prison
Yeah I'd say so
And there's no J in engorged
You going to the hospital tonight No You
No You
You just asked me
Maybe it was a trick question
I am so hot
Here's my mom and dad on their wedding day
I can't believe this conversation Just try to picture her not pregnant
Central Perk is proud to present Miss Phoebe Buffay
Thanks
I'd Iike to start with a song about a man I recently met
Who's come to be very important to me
You don't have to be awake To be my man
Long as you have brain waves I'll be there to hold your hand
Though we just met the other day
There's something I have got to say
Thank you very much I'm gonna take a short break
That was Phoebe Buffay everybody
What the hell was that Phoebe just started
I was talking to Joey AII right there mother kisser
Mother kisser
I'II shut up
I know you''re still mad at me
But there were two people there that night
There were two sets of Iips I expect this from her
She's always been a Freudian nightmare
Then why don't you say something
Because it's complicated It's complex
You kissed my mom
We''re rehearsing a Greek play
That's funny Are we done now
You mean you''re not gonna tell her how you feel
Just because you played tonsil tennis with my mom
Okay You can't Or you can't
Okay that's my finger
Okay that's my knee
Still doing the play
What did you do with him
You're awake Look at you
How do you feel
A Iittle woozy but basically okay
Gosh you Iook good
I feel good
Who are you
Sorry I'm Phoebe
I' m Monica I've been caring for you
We both have
The Etch A Sketch is from you Actually me
I got you the foot massager I shaved you
I read to you I sang
Well thanks
Oh my pleasure You''re welcome
So I guess I'II see you around
What That's it
See you around
What do you want me to say I don't know
Maybe
That was nice
It meant something to me
I'II call you
Okay I'II call you I don't think you mean that
This is so typical
You know we give and we give
And we give
And we just get nothing back
And then one day you wake up and it'sSee you around
Let's go Phoebe
You know what We thought you were different
But I guess it was just the coma
Autographed And give you a goodbye kiss
Here's the kiss here's the goodbye
Anything you want from Lisbon Just knowing you''re there is enough
AII right Well be good I Iove you
You kissed my best Ross
Or something to that effect
Look it was stupid
Really stupid Really stupid
I don't even know how it happened
I' m sorry honey I promise it will never happen again
Really really stupid
Really really stupid
Are we okay now Yeah
No
The forbidden Iove of a man and his door
He told her off And not just about the kiss
You're kidding
He saidWhen are you gonna start being a mom
Then she said：
The question is when are you gonna realize I have a bomb
Are you sure she didn't say：
When are you gonna grow up and realize I am your mom
That makes more sense You think
What's going on now
I don't know I've been standing here spelling it out for you
I don't hear anything Wait
What do you see
It's hard to tell They're tiny and upside down
Wait wait wait
They're walking away They're walking away
No they''re not They''re coming right at us Run
Are you okay kiddo Yeah I'm okay
AII right You be good
Drive safe
Mrs Bing Mr Geller
You mean that
Yeah why not
So I told her
How did it go Awful Awful
Couldn't have gone worse
Well how do you feel Pretty good
I told her
Well see
So maybe it wasn't such a bad idea me kissing your mom huh
But we don't have to go down that road
This is just the first chapter
And I want your absolute honest opinion Okay
And on page two he's not reaching for her heaving beasts
She could have heaving beasts
Right but in this case she doesn't
What's a niffle
You can usually find them on the heaving beasts
Okay so I'm not a great typist
Did you get to the part about his huge throbbing pens
You don't wanna be around when he starts writing with those
That's it Give them back
