[00:00.00]Australian Idol - Kate Miller-Heidke
[00:04.25]Written by：Kate Miller-Heidke
[00:08.50]I was having a bad week
[00:10.03]I crashed the car and the cat carked it
[00:12.17]Weighed myself outside woolies and I'd put on 4 kilos
[00:16.25]Arranged to meet an old friend for coffee
[00:18.21]I poured my heart out told her all about
[00:20.10]Poor dead fluffy and the bloody car
[00:21.97]And did she think I should go on a diet
[00:24.49]She studied my face trying to frame the words to say
[00:31.19]Just the right blend of sympathy and advice
[00:36.16]She took a big breath
[00:38.32]Looked into my eyes and she said
[00:40.75]You should go on Australian Idol
[00:44.43]Even if you don't win you'll have a great time
[00:48.26]Don't worry that you don't look like a supermodel
[00:52.07]They're even letting fatties on there now so you should be fine
[01:04.29]I said thanks I feel a lot better now
[01:06.36]Then I erased her number from my phone
[01:09.18]I didn't know how much we'd grown apart
[01:12.20]The very next day was my birthday
[01:14.28]No one called except my grandma
[01:16.32]She was drunk she just needed a lift home from the pub
[01:20.61]Then that Sunday night I went to dinner with my rellies
[01:28.57]They said happy birthday do you mind if we put the TV on
[01:34.01]It's nearly the final of Australian Idol and
[01:36.76]You should go on Australian Idol
[01:40.23]You're much prettier than her she looks like a pudding
[01:44.26]You'll win it no worries love' said my uncle
[01:48.35]And I just turned and looked at him like he was something
[01:51.87]That I stood in
[01:55.64]And don't get me wrong
[01:57.32]If I turn on the TV and it's on
[02:01.48]I can't stop watching even with the ads
[02:05.11]Even with those two dickheads blabbing on between songs
[02:09.49]I love to see their spirits crushed their egos shattered
[02:15.53]I love the ones that really suck in the first auditions
[02:19.24]I love to watch them sob their dreams in tatters
[02:23.66]And I laugh while I eat my dinner
[02:27.04]They're crying in their 5 star hotel
[02:30.04]And I'm cackling on my cack brown couch
[02:37.02]And it's not that I am jealous
[02:40.40]I'm not jealous I'm not jealous
[02:48.27]The next Sunday I had a pretty bad hangover
[02:50.68]Feeling pretty grumpy
[02:52.10]Sitting on the couch eating pringles feeling sorry for myself
[02:56.13]I flipped to channel 10 and before I knew it
[02:58.68]I was watching a really short guy
[03:00.86]Singing that really annoying song by Craig David
[03:05.97]Suddenly I rose to my feet it must have been divine intervention
[03:13.50]I saw the light in front of me and I screamed
[03:21.31]Why am I watching Australian Idol God
[03:25.38]Am I really reduced to this pitiful state Jesus
[03:29.52]May as well just head down to my local karaoke bar
[03:33.09]Or better still just change to SBS
[03:36.18]You better believe it I changed to ABC
[03:40.56]So Marcia Dicko whatever your name is
[03:46.49]Shove it up your a**