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喔耶耶耶
Have you ever felt like the gap between where you are and where you want to be is just massive
Like it's just a huge taasm yeah
Exactly can't even imagine how you'll ever get there totally
And you know blalahormoz actually mentioned in one of her youtube videos
That like ninety nine percent of people feel that way at some point
It's pretuniversal yeah
So it's not like a alone in this
Not at all okay
So let's get into this
Let's do it
Today we are diving deep into laylahormosees video
How i brainwashed myself to success
Yes
Exactly
And we're ggoing a try to pull out her three b key methods for really flip in that feeling for going from feeling stuck to actually like you mamaking real progress to taking action
Taking action yes
I think one of the most interesting things right off the bat is that idea of using negative thouts and emotion yeah
As fuel instead only which we normally try to just like a void and push down push sh away yeah
It's almost like a total reversal of the usual advice you here
Which is just like it's not just a yeeverythth's fine good vibs only right
But sh's saying like no actually lean into the negative stuff
Yes
And the thing is it's not just some abstract idea
It's not just like a theory right
Shshe speaking from experience yeah
She gets really real in this video about her own past yeah
And like in nineteen
She describes herself as basically dealing with conconstant anxiety just anger
Anger feeling
Totally lost hopeless yeah
Struggling with her weight yeah
Filgs and alcohol
Oh wow
Flunkking at a school multiple arrests
Feeling totally isolated
That's a lot
I mean that paints a pretty start picture
Yeah
It's not preprety picture right
But it really highlights just how dramatic of a shift
She managed to create using these tools
Using these tools
Yeah
That we're going to talk about
That we're about to break down
So i mean really makes you wonder
How did she eeven begin to turn things around
Yeah
That's the question right
That's what we're here to figure out
That's what kind of actuable inside weaiming for ah practical advice
Yeah
Real strategies to help you rethink those negative banners
So we can
I should put them to work for us
Yeah
Exactly i think what makes that personal story so powerful
我is that it shows us
This isn't just like a minor tweet for people who are already doing
Okay Right
This is for anyone who's struggling
Yeah
It's just that understanding how to actually work with our internal struggles instead
It's just jun agaagainst them rather than just trying to pretend the're not there
Yeah can actually lead to significant changes real transformachanrereal transformation
Ok
So let's jump into that first tool
Right
Negative visualization
Okay No
When you hear visualization
You can you ar visual board 这right
You're thinking about like picturing succto the dream house
Yeah
The perfect outcome manifesting but hormozy kind of flips script she takes in a different direction
Yeah
Her approaches about produdoes ting the kinds of questions that we ask ourselves and so of getting stuck in those like unproductive spirles
Like why am i so bsing things up yeah
Why am i so bad at this or why does this always happen to me
Yeah
Why me
She's talking about focusing on productive future oriented yeah
Okay
But with a negative twist that's really interesting
So it's not just about like thinking positive thought right
It's about actually confronting the potential negative outcome yeah
Almost like a reverse psychology kind of thing
I see you
You mean
Ok
So she gives this really vivid example from her own experience
Okay
I want to hear this
So she started forcing herself to ask this question okay
嗯的 好的
If i keep going like this
If i don't change the habits that i have right now okay
What's my life gona look like in five years
Um and for her
You know considering her weight at the time
Yeah
That led to this really terrifying mental image
Oh
No of being five other pounds
That's a powerful image
That's is extreme scenario with that's the point right
That's exactly the point to really drive at home
The goal wasn't just as vbig desire to be healthier
It was to avoid that terrifying outcome
Yes
It was the intense fear of that very real potential future
That became her motivation
That became her core motivation
I see
So the point here isn't just like imagine bad things for the sake of it right
It's about using that visueral fear of that potential future
Yeah
To overwrite our present inertia
Because sometimes we get stuck in our ways
And we need that extra push yeah
And that negative image almost becomes ways
对对对
Powerful immediate motivator in a way
That just like wanning something good isn't
Didn't quite do it doesn't quite do it
It's like that fear of loss can be so much stronger
Then just warning something
Then the pursuit of game
Yes
Exactly
So the key take away with this first fool okay is to intentionally picture a truly negative future
If you don't change
If you don't all to your course
Yeah
And let that fear be the fuel
That propels you toward the future
You actually want ok
I like
Like it's like using your fear as a rocket fuel
Exactly
对对对对对
All right
Let's move on to toll over two alright
What's next building frustration tolerance okay
That sounds important
Yeah
And this one starts by digging into the why that why behind those behaviors we want to change
So we're getting curious about those behaviors
Yeah
Instead of just judging ourselves why which we often do right
I should have
Have done
I should have een that right
But we don't really stop to ask why right
Why did they actually do that
So we're most these
These method is all about asking a series of why questions to get to the root to peel back the layers of our habits
Yeah
She share some examples like why did i just eat that
And
And mayybe the first answer is because it taasted good simple enough
Yeah
Then you keep asking okay
But why did i need that feeling of something taste good right now ah interesting
And maybe the deeper answers
Because i was actually trying to avoid feeling bored we're stress or stressed or lonely
But then all of the above
Yeah
Exactly
And she found that a lot of her undesirable behavior stemp from this low tolerance for uncomfortable feelings
It's so true
We all have that to some degree
And this can it's so directly to achieving big goals right
Because the path to anything worthwhile is rarely smooth
It's never smooth selling you're going to hit bumps
Bumps and roblocks in detors yeah
Exactly and researarch actually shotion
That the people who achieve ambitious goals tend to have a higher tolerance for frustration
They can experience unwanted thoughts and feelings without letting them totally deral
No like they can ride the wave
They can weather the storm
Yes and what's fascinating here owns like a paradox
Oh
Tell me more so by constantly trying to avoid any negative feelings
Because we actually ween our ability to handle them
We're inevably arrive
Because they're going to come up
If always do for a part of life
Yeah
And that ultimately limits what we can achieve
Because if we can't handle disdisfort
We're going to give very far
We're going to give up too soon
Exactly it's like the more you try to push those feelings away
The more power they seem to have over you yeah
That's canterintuitive
But hremost you found that acactually conting ting tolerating those negative feelings acacknoledging them without immediately reacting can lead to them losing their intensity over time
So you're not surprising
You not ignoring
You're just letting them be there yeah
And she's got a three step process for building this tolerance okay
I'm all yers right step one yet me acceptance of frustration okay
So we're not fighting it
We're not resisting it
We're just acknowledging that it's there yes
And this is key because we wait so much mental energy
Trying to suppress those feeling yeah
We try to push him down and a hormozy point out that simply ly acknowledging feeling fruraracould be a huge first step p naming it yeah
Step two is specifically labelling the feeling
So we're not just saooh i feel bad
Wesaying i feel ffrarai should i feel overwhelmed i 're ver be yeah
And this act of naming it create a little bit of psychological distance
So you can observe it more objectively rather than being totally consumed by stance so exactly
Step three is about creating realistic mental quees okay
And this is where she distinguishes her approach from like traditional affirmations ok
So we're not just repeating positive freeases right
Because she found that when she was significantly overweight
Yeah trying to tell herself
I am a beautiful confident skinny person
Just felt like a lie
It didn't resonate it probably didn't help it
Didn't help it all this is really interesting
Because it highlights that sometimes generic affirmations yeah can feel so disconnected from a reality
That they lack any real impact
And just feel empty yeah wh're rerealistic mental queuacknowleddge the present discomfort
But they also offer a believable path forward
There's grounded in the reality of the struforforso
But not about prepreding everyeverything's fine
It's about acknowledging the difficulty yeah
And her example of a realistic statement is okay
What's here
I may feel anxious hungry in alone
But i could become the person
I want to be okay
If i work hard level enough consistency
That's a much more empowering statement
It's acknowledging the current pain
But it's also injecting that sense of hope in personal agency
It feels more believable
Doesn't meet it
Does it's like you're meeting yourself
Where you are yeah
But you're also pointing towards that desired future
这个一个个
是的一的一个
In a way
They feels authentic entertainable
It's more like realistic encouragement yeah
And self compassion okay
So we've got negavidualization to kick start that initial motivation by highlighting what we want to avoid
And we've got building frustration tolerance to help us stay on track
When things get tough ok
So what's the third tool
So let's three proving your brain wrong um that sounds intriguing
And this is where we start to directly challenge those deep seated negative thought patterns
That can really sabotagius
That can totally do realius
So we're getting into the natigity of our thoughts
Yeah
What's really interesting
Here is recognizing that our thoughts aren't necessarily facts right
And while our emotions are powful
They're not always the most reliable guides for our actions
Just because you feel something strongly
Doesn't automatically make it true right feelings are not facts exact tly
We need to learn to question those feelings
And almost they give some really common examples of those nenetive tive thoughts
We all experiall experience
Yeah
Like what he's definitely onna leave me
Or i'm going to lose my job
I'm going to fail this test
Something terribles about to happen right our ins just seem to have this built intendency to jump to the worst case scenario
That it's like our default mode
It's like our brains are wired for negativity yeah
And from evolutionary perspective it makes sense right we had to be on a look out for danger to survive
But in our modern moves
This can lead to an overproduction of negative thoughts
That's ren't actually based in any real danger
So the key skill here is learning to identify these patterns without immediately accepting them as absolute truth yeah
And that leads to the idea of breaking that automatic link between feeling a certain way
And then behaving in a way that reinforces that feeling right
So just because you feel incredibly anxious doesn't mean the thing
You're anxious about is actually going to happen
It's like we have have to avoid entirely
It's like we often operate under this assumption that a strong feeling significes an imminent reality or a necessary action
But hormozy challenges this by providing this structure approach to question those thoughts that fuel those feeling
So she's got four powerful questions to ask yourself
When you find yourself overwhelmed by strong emotions and those raising negative thoughts okay already alright question number one is it true simple but powerful
And then pushing even further is it absolutely sure
So we're really getting specific here yeah
And these questions force us to look for concrete evidence
So the lack of evidence to support our negative thought yeah
We often just believe those thoughts without question right and the new once between true and absolutely true is so insightful
Because it forces us to consider is something merely a possibility
Versuan undeniable certainty
Most of the time it's just possibility
Yeah Okay
Quesquestion over right right
How does this thought actually make me feel this really highlights the emotional impact of the thought
And it helps us see
If it serving us in any way we're holding us back right
And if a particular thought consistently makes you feel anxious or discourage yeah
It's probably not motivating you towards positive action
It's probably doing the opposite so recognizing that negative emotional impact can be a powerful motivator to challenge the thought itself exactly okay
And the final question opens up a whole new perspective
I love a new perspective
What would it be like if i simply didn't believe this thought
嗯的 好的 Wow
This allows us to envision a different reality
Where those negative thoughts don't have power over us so like we're creating space for different possibilities
Yeah
And the entire process is about building a case against those negative thought
We're gathering evidence to refute them were looking for reasons
Why they might not be true
And this creates room for more helpful thinking
That actually propels us towards our goals
Instead of holding us back so to recap
We've explored lylahormmos 's three key tools for brainwashing yourself for success
I love that phrase you too
It's so catchy ok so remind me
What are those three tools again okay
So first we've got negative visualization to ignite that motivation by focusing on what you want to avoid okay
Second we've got building frustration tolerance to develop the mental resilience need to navigate challenges yes and third we've got proving your brain wrong by challenging those negative thought
Yes
I mean this is really powerful stuff
It is
And what's so valuable about these tools is their practical nature
They're not a theories
They're actionable strategy
That you can start using right now
Today this very minute so for you listening right now take a moment to think about how you might apply these tools to your own life
To your own unneed challenges
Yeah
And maybe that exercise of visualizing and undesirable future can provide kickstart you need for a change youve been considering yeah
Or maybe identifying the underlance can behind a frustrating habit
Can unlock the key to building greater tolerance
And don't forget about those four questions yeah
Next time you find yourself caught in that negative thought spiral pose questions out and start challenging those thoughts
Hopefulve had a little bit of an ahha moment realiing that even those negative feelings and thoughts can be reframed and used
Constructively
This approach really emphasizes the agency we have over our own minds
It's empowering yeah
It's not about elimiating negative thoughts and feelings entirely which is unrealistic
It's about learning to relate to them
Differently to see them as information as signals
Not as absolute truths or insurmenable obstacles
It's a shift in perspective
So considering these three powerful tools
What long held negative belief might be the most impackful for you to start questioning today
That's a really great question to ponder it is
And i hope our listeners really take some time to think about that
Me too
Thanks
So much for taking this deep dive with us
It's been a pleasure
Always a pleasure
