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"Benny (spoken)
The Greek’s in town!
Nicely (spoken)
Brandy Bottle Bates!
(Two Crap Shooters enter.)
Benny (spoken)
Scranton Slim!
Nathan (spoken)
I know. I could make a fortune. But where can I have the game?
Nicely (sings)
The Biltmore Garage wants a grand.
Benny (sings)
But we ain’t got a grand on hand.
Nathan (sings)
And they’ve now got a lock on the door
Of the gym at Public School Eighty-four.
Nicely
There’s the stockroom behind McCloskey’s Bar.
Benny
But Missus McCloskey ain’t a good scout.
Nathan
And things being how they are,
The back of the Police Station is out.
Nicely
So the Biltmore Garage is the spot
All
But the one-thousand bucks we ain’t got!
(Crap Shooter enters, followed by more gradually.)
A Crap Shooter
Why it’s good old reliable Nathan,
More Crap Shooters
Nathan, Nathan, Nathan Detroit.
Still More Crap Shooters
If you’re looking for action
He’ll furnish the spot.
(Two Men enter.)
Even when the heat is on
It’s never too hot.
(Three Men enter.)
All Crap Shooters
Not for good old reliable Nathan
For it’s always just a short walk
(They all gather downstage.)
To the oldest established permanent
Floating crap game in New York.
(They take off their hats. Interlude. Move to center.)
There are well-heeled shooters
Ev’rywhere, ev’rywhere,
There are well-heeled shooters
Ev’rywhere, and an awful lot of lettuce
(shows money)
For the fella who can get us there.
Nathan, Nicely, and Benny
If we only had a lousy little grand,
We could be a millionaire.
Crap Shooters
That’s good old reliable Nathan,
Nathan, Nathan, Nathan Detroit.
(All come downstage.)
If the size of your bundle
You want to increase,
He’ll arrange that you go broke
In quiet and peace,
In a hideout provided by Nathan
Where there are no neighbours to squawk.
It’s the oldest established
(They all stand straight.)
Permanent floating crap game in New York.
Coda
Crap Shooters
Where’s the action? Where’s the game?
Nathan, Nicely, and Benny
Gotta have the game or we’ll die from shame.
All (except Nathan)
(All stand up straight.)
It’s the oldest established
(take hats off)
Permanent floating crap game in New York."
