Looking For (Explicit)

when i was sixteen thought bout when my life would start yeah

if its already started im goner

spent all my time and money smoking ***

i see myself turning into my father

cuz all i know is self control

and i aint real on socials yeah its all show

but how come i get anxious when im on my phone

cuz i been chasing demons i been chasing ghosts

and how can i write love songs when i hate myself this much

lately i been chasing something yet im not quite sure just what

i been looking for

i been looking for

when my heart beats out my chest i just cant endure

and though ive started on this quest i just cant be sure

murderous thoughts in my head

i lived a life under threat then

my past isnt one to forget

and im stuck inside a city that i hate

and all my ****ing friends cannot relate to me

but really im a product of my age

cuz when they end up dead it barely phases me

like oh my god who have i become

i dont wanna be someone who talk too much

dont talk about myself cuz rlly who gives a ****

and im not quite sure just what

i been looking for

i been looking for

when my heart beats out my chest i just cant endure

and though ive started on this quest i just cant be sure