E-Mail Female - Salena Jones (塞雷纳·琼斯)
I woke up at half past nine and saw my partner was on line
I waited till he hurried out the door
Didn't wait to wash and dress
I knew that perfect happiness
Was waiting with the mouse without a paw
With a whirr it sprang to life
My modem dialled my other life
My email lover's message was in store
I double clicked I nearly flipped
The screen was full of naughty tips
The sort of things I've never heard before
Oh my computer brings me the perfect suitor
I log on and there he is again for me
Never alone now
When I am on my own now
He appears and turns me on
We surf together
Suddenly the screen goes bare
It crashes and there's nothing there
I click and curse and call the PC names
A friendly voice I recognize
Says hope you like my new surprise
Is he my love he's covered me in shame
Poor internetter thought you'd found something better
To fill a boring day with loving souvenirs
How demoralising to find I've been fraternising
With someone I've been living with for years and years and
End of day when he walks in he kisses me with knowing grin
I look away to hide my blushing smile
We both agree the world wide web
Cannot replace our marriage bed
Cos no computer beats real love for style
No apple mac no perfect word
No Microsoft no CompuServe
No computer beats real love for style
No oh no no no
