Weight In Gold

I'm sorry for the times I was so forlorn,

Hiding in my room, losing all hope,

Cynical in youth, basking into defeat.

When I knew no-one else would come and save me

Too scared to voice these thoughts,

I'd feel a fool,

Became recluse, residual.

Naivety choked slow until I'm blue,

There's nothing anybody else could do

Ebb away, soak in this pain,

Now I don't mind,

It's been the same routine

Day by day

Reflecting back, living with these ghosts,

Yet learning lessons worth their weight in gold,

Self realisation yet the self loathing,

Holding out for a sign, bring me back to the light

Mother don't be so hard on yourself,

Feeling responsible but you did your best,

Father don't, let the guilt into your heart

I know it took a while,

But I am glad you finally understand.

People keep assuming I've found my feet,

Fail to realise I'm still masking,

Underneath, not sure these scars will fade away,

But aiming to stay the same

Reflecting back, living with these ghosts,

Yet learning lessons worth their weight in gold,

Self realisation yet the self loathing,

Holding out for a sign, bring me back to the light

Reflecting back, living with these ghosts,

Yet learning lessons worth their weight in gold,

Self realisation yet the self loathing,

Holding out for a sign, bring me back to the light

Now that I'm older

Learning the ways of the world,

Now that I'm wiser,

Taming the chaos within myself

Leaving the past behind,

Finding out how to move forward,

Now I'm rebuilding,

Possibilities opening the way

Reflecting back, living with these ghosts,

Yet learning lessons worth their weight in gold,

Self realisation yet the self loathing,

Holding out for a sign, bring me back to the light

(Back to the light)