Another Friday night when your plan A has fallen through
A Tinder date that sounded great was too good to be true
I guess besides love of adventure, sense of humour, zest for life
He just forgot to mention the new baby or the wife
Yeah what a dick
But there’s no need to be lonesome when you’ve got the next best thing
So you block him on your socials and you give me a ring
And say you’re in need of some sympathy, some sushi and Netflix
You know I’m always free for dinner when they bail on you at 6
And I will be the best I can
And I will be the best I can
And I will be the best I can
But you won’t choose me
Over the last man on Earth
How am I back here again I’ve learned so many times
That I’ve run out of melodies and I’ve run out of rhymes
And this way lies insanity, I’ve seen it all before
But I know next time you need me I’ll be right there at the door
And after all the chasing, when you’re tiring of this life
And you pick the least worst option and consent to be his wife
You know I’ll plan the hen do in Chicago
And I’ll be there at the alter
And you can be my Santiago
Though I can’t be your Peralta but
I’ll be the best I can
And sometimes at last orders
And we’ve both had too much to drink
And you look at me for too long
In a way that makes me think
You sometimes wish that things were different
And it sometimes makes you sad
That I treat you better than the best boyfriend you ever had
