[00:00.00]Balloons (Explicit) - Tom MacDonald
[00:01.59]Lyrics by：Tom MacDonald/Nova Paholek
[00:03.98]Composed by：Tom MacDonald/Nova Paholek
[00:06.37]Huh
[00:07.24]
[00:11.05]Ooh
[00:11.52]
[00:12.71]I miss the days when no one even knew my name
[00:15.46]Now everywhere I go I wear a hat to hide my face
[00:18.27]I got weapons hidden inside every room in my place
[00:21.50]Now I have to keep a pistol on me always just in case
[00:24.58]This is a nightmare never expected the fame
[00:27.67]To be something I would wrestle with and fight to embrace
[00:30.48]Sometimes I feel like the love I get's outweighed by the hate
[00:33.62]I hid the tears but I can't hide from the pain
[00:35.81]
[00:36.82]I'm workin' 20-hour days can't even lie to y'all I'm burnt out
[00:40.35]I sleep on my weight bench tryna find the strength to work out
[00:43.30]Should be happy I'm successful
[00:44.63]I just went and bought my first house
[00:46.52]Thought money would help cure my depression but it's worse how
[00:49.58]Tired of it lucky I don't have a manager 'cause I'd be firin' him
[00:52.68]Tired of talkin' to other artists
[00:54.01]Who just wanna tell me I'm inspirin' them
[00:55.79]Parents keep tellin' me they have a kid
[00:57.34]And they're thankful the child is admirin' me
[00:58.91]Great you wanna know how I feel
[01:00.37]I might kill myself before retiring
[01:01.71]
[01:03.72]I'm in the clouds
[01:05.50]
[01:06.46]I can't reach the ground
[01:08.29]
[01:09.33]They're comin' in crowds
[01:11.61]Blew me up like a balloon and let me-
[01:14.26]Go
[01:15.25]Watch me float away well I scream "no"
[01:18.10]Every time I get close they pull out their phones
[01:21.17]Like "Maybe this time we can see him explode"
[01:24.04]Blew me up like a balloon and let me go
[01:27.51]They all throwin' rocks 'cause they're tryna poke holes
[01:30.44]They wanna see me pop they don't wanna see me blow
[01:33.54]They're the reason that I'm gone they don't wanna see me glow
[01:36.41]Blew me up like a balloon and left me
[01:39.09]
[01:39.62]I miss the times when I could go outside
[01:41.28]
[01:42.05]I didn't have to watch my back out of the corner of my eye
[01:45.17]I didn't have to fake a smile and pose for pictures all the time
[01:48.22]Can't even lie I miss when time was really mine
[01:50.33]
[01:51.49]Now I just belong to everybody else but me
[01:54.40]These panic attacks are makin' it awful hard to breathe
[01:57.34]Built a vocal booth inside the crib and stopped makin' beats
[02:00.44]Don't even rap I stand inside of it and scream
[02:02.74]
[02:03.49]Like this is not what I expected I worked my hands to the bone
[02:06.64]And my anxiety is triggered by the apps on my phone
[02:09.76]I tried deleting them so the Internet would leave me alone
[02:12.81]But the lack of attention made me feel worse than before
[02:15.69]
[02:16.20]I'm sick of it all the internet watchin' me trip when I fall
[02:18.65]Embarrassed that everyone witnesses all
[02:20.16]My illnesses in real-time man I'm addicted to y'all
[02:22.56]Rappers on Twitter don't get me involved
[02:23.96]I'm posing for photos with fans in the mall
[02:25.56]I'm dying inside pretending I'm strong
[02:27.01]I'm not a celebrity I am just Tom
[02:28.69]
[02:30.45]I'm in the clouds
[02:32.14]Huhuhuhuhuh
[02:33.20]I can't reach the ground
[02:35.62]Huh
[02:36.17]They're comin' in crowds
[02:38.14]F**k
[02:38.41]Blew me up like a balloon and let me-
[02:40.44]I just can't do this s**t anymore
[02:41.44]Go
[02:41.97]Watch me float away well I scream "no"
[02:44.82]Every time I get close they pull out their phones
[02:47.86]Like "Maybe this time we can see him explode"
[02:50.98]Blew me up like a balloon and let me go
[02:54.31]They all throwin' rocks 'cause they're tryna poke holes
[02:57.17]They wanna see me pop they don't wanna see me blow
[03:00.27]They're the reason that I'm gone they don't wanna see me glow
[03:03.30]Blew me up like a balloon and left me
[03:05.49]I miss the years when every Friday wasn't spent with my therapist
[03:08.83]Then I realized I hated fame and accepted that I'm scared of it
[03:12.03]I got Ativan Cipralex Xanax and Seraquel
[03:14.56]
[03:15.10]In a Tupperware container I don't touch I just stare at 'em
[03:18.22]Breathin' exercises supposed to help me to cope
[03:20.84]But nothin' works quite as good as a bottle of jack and a smoke
[03:24.17]I try to focus on my breath but it gets stuck in my throat
[03:27.02]This never happened back when I was young and happy and broke
[03:29.98]
[03:30.60]I never thought I'd be the rapper all these rappers try to be
[03:33.76]Posting twenty times a day now I don't have no privacy
[03:36.85]Meeting with these major labels CEOs with giant teams
[03:40.00]If y'all wanna do business why are y'all tryna lie to me
[03:43.03]I'm bored of the fame
[03:43.83]Every time it feels fresh again I'm gettin' more of the same
[03:46.10]Interviewers think they know who I am
[03:47.73]They made up their mind before I explain
[03:49.22]Well because you asked so nice I guess I'll tell
[03:51.97]Ain't been feelin' too hot lately Jim is there anything else
[03:54.97]Great
[03:55.27]'Cause lately every day I feel like I'm livin' in hell
[03:58.32]I'm glad the music helps you but I might really kill myself
[04:01.38]When this magazine gets printed can you send one to my house
[04:04.34]I'd like to own a tiny piece of me like everybody else
[04:07.81]Go
[04:08.59]Watch me float away well I scream "no"
[04:11.56]Every time I get close they pull out their phones
[04:14.50]Like "Maybe this time we can see him explode"
[04:17.64]Blew me up like a balloon and let me go
[04:20.98]They all throwin' rocks 'cause they're tryna poke holes
[04:23.97]They wanna see me pop they don't wanna see me blow
[04:26.88]They're the reason that I'm gone they don't wanna see me glow
[04:29.95]Blew me up like a balloon and left me