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Somehow or other
I got through with the first teromas
Some peters and towarard the end of december
My mother came over on the catdle boat to take me and my trunk home for the christmas holidays
All the bliss and the wonder of being with the family once again after all those weeks of fierce discipline unless you were being the boarding school
When you are very young
It is absolutely impossible to appreciate that delights of living at home
It is almost where th going away
Because it's so lovely coming back
I could hardly believe that i didn't have to washing cold water in the mornings or keep silent in the corridors
Or saves her to every grown at man
I met or use a chamber put in the bedroom
Or get flicked with wet tows
While naked in ay shging room that eat porridge for breakfast that seemed to be full of little round lumpy grave sheep droppings or walk all get long in perpetual fear of the long yellow cae that llay on top of the corner
Coboard in the headmasters study the weather was exceptionally mild that christmas holiday and one amazing morning
Our whole family got ready to go for our first drive in the first motorcar
We had ever owned this new motorcar was an enormous long black frinch automobile called at the diombootton
Which had a camvas roof that fold ded back
The driver was to be that twelve years older than meyhalf sister now aged twenty one who had recently had her urpindex removed
She had received two four half our lessons and driving from the man who delivered the car and didn't that in lightened and nine thousand and twenty five
This was considered quite sufficient
Nobody had to take a driving test
You were your own judge of confidence
And as soon as ffelt
You were ready to go few
Jojolywell went as we all climbed into the car
Our excitement was so intense
We could hardly bear it
How fast would it go
We cried out when they do fifty miles an hour
It'll do sixty
The ancient sister answered red a tone was so confident of cocky
It should scared red to death
But it didn't
Oh
Let's make you do sixty
We shouted
When you promised to take it up to sixty
We shall probably go fast ter them at the sister announced putting on her driving grabs and tying a scarf over her head in the approved driving fashion of the period
The campus hood have been folded back
Because of the mild weather converting the car into a magnificent open torter at front
There were three bodies at all the driver behind the wheel
My half brother age eighteen and one of my sisters aged twelve in the vacseet
There were four more of us
My mother age forty
Two small sisters aged eight and five and myself age nine
Our machine possess one very special feature
Which i don't think you see on the cards of today
This was a second wind screen in the back solely to keep the breeze off the faces of the back seat passengers
When the hood was down
It had a long centers section and two little lion sections
That could be anangled backwards to delect the wind
We were all quivering with fear and enjoy as the driver let out the clutch from a great long black automobile leaned forward and stole in the motion
Are you sure
You know how to do it
We shout
Ted do you know where the breaks are be quiet snapped
The ancient sister i've got to concentrate down the drive we went and out into the village of land
Df itself fortunately there were very few vehicles on the roads in those days
Occasionally you met a small truack or a delivery ban and not again a private car
But the danger of colliding with anything else was fairly remote so along as you get the car on the road
The splendid black torter cracked slowly through the village
With the driver pressing the rubber bob of the horn
Every time we passed a human being
Whether it was the butcher boy on his bicycle or just a pedestrium slowing on the pavement
Soon we were entering a countryside of green fields and high hedges with not a sol insight
You didn't think i could do it
Did you quite
The ancient sister turning around and greinning at us all keep your eyes on the road
My mother said
Nervously go faster
We shouted go
我make it go faster
Put your foot down
What are you doing
Fifty months an hour
Spurred on by our shouts and torns
The ancient sister began to increase the speed
The engine rod and the body vibrated the driver was clutching the steering wheel
As though it were ahead of a drowning man
And we all watched speedoomental needle creeping up to twenty
Then twenty five
Then thirty
We were probably doing about thirty five miles an hour
When we came suddenly to a shckage bend in the road
The ancient sister never having been faced with the situation like this before shouted help and slammed on the break and swung wheel wiled around
The rear wheel locked and went into a fiar sideway
Skiid and then with a marvdest cunch of mudguards and metal
We went crashing into the hedge
The front passengers all shot through the front windscreen and the back passengers all shopped through the back windscreen glass
There was no trip plex then lew in all directions
And so did we
My brother and one sister landed on the bollet of the car
Someone else was catappoulted out onto the road
And at least one small sister landed in the middle of the horphone hedge
But miracuously nobody was hurt very much
Except me
My nose had been cuppked
Almost clean off my face as i went through the real winind screen
And now it was hanging on only by a single small thread of skin
My mother diesn't tangled herself from the screen age
And graabed a handkerchi from her purse
She clapped the dangling knose back in a place
Fast than held it there not a cottage or a person was insight little alone
A telephone
Some kind of birds started twittering in a tree father down the road
Otherwise or silent
My mother was penning over me in the rear seat
And saying lean back
And keep your head still still to the ancient sister
She said
Can you get this thing going again
The sister pressed the starter
And to everyone surprised the engine fired back he out of the hedge
My mother said
And honry
The sister had trouble finding reverse gear
The cogs were grinding against one another with the fearful noise of tearing metal
I never actually given it backwards she admitted at last everyone with the exception of the driver
My mother and me was out of the car and standing on the road
The noise of gear wheelwas grinding against each other was terrible
It's out of as there a law morow
I was being driven over hard rocks the ancient sister was using bad words and going crimbson in the face
But then my brother leaned his head over the driver's door
And said
Don't you have to put your foot on the clutch
The harrsst driver depressed the clutch pedal and the gear ars meshhed now seconseconlater
The great black beast leleked backwards out of the head and career across the road into the head on the other side
Try to keep cool
My mother said
Go forward slowly at last
The shattered motorcar was driven out of the second hedge and stood sideways across the road blocking the highway
A man with the horse and carts now appeared on the scene
And the man dismounted from his car and walked across to our car
And leaned over the rear door
He had a big grouoping the star should you want a small black bollahat you're in a fair row measure
And you he said my mother can you drive a motorcar
My mother asked him
Nope
He said
And you're blocking up the old road
I've got a thousand friresh late eggs in this car
And i want to get on to market
Before noon get out of the way
My mother told him
Can't you see there's a child in here
Who's badly injured one thousand fresh laie eggs
The man repeated staring stated my mother's hand and the blood sow tanker chief and the blood running down a wrist
And if i don't get on the market
When going
Going today wwon't be able to ll them down next week
Then they won't be fresh lee anymore
We don't know
I'll be stuck with one thousand steel old eggs
That nobody wants
I hope they all go rotten
My mother said
Now back back ccout out of my way this instant and to the children standing on the road
She cried out jop back into the car
We're going to the doctor
That's class were over the seats
They shouted never mind the gass
My mother said
We're got to get this boy to the doctor
Fast
The passengers crawled back into the car
The man with a horse and ct acked off to a say distance
The ancient sister managed to strerain the vehicle
And get it pointed in the right direction
And then at last
The one's magnificent automobile al totted down the highway
And headed for doctor don bars surgery in cathedral road
Cardiff i've never driven in the city
The ancient and trembling sister announced you are about to do
So my mother said keep going proceeding at no more than four miles an hour
All the way we finally made it to doctor down baar's house
I was huzzled out of the car
And in through the front door with my mother still loed in the the ddstain handkereri family over my wbbling nose good heavens cry doctor down by it's been cleen cut off
If it hurts
I moound yecan't go go own without a nose for the rest of his life
The doctor said to my mother
It looks as though we may have to my mother said
Nonsense
The doctor told her
I shall saw it on again can you do that my mother asked him
I can pray he outside
And you're tape ment untate and know
And i'd ll be up at your house with my assistant
Within the our huge strips of sticking plaster were strapped across my face to hold the nose se in position
Then i was led back into the car
And we crawled the two miles home to land end def about an hour later
I found myself lying upon that same nursery table
My ancient sister had occupied some months before
But heard a pinx operation strong hands he'll be down
While a musque stufed with cotton wool was clamped over my face
I saw a hand about me holding a bottle with white liquid in it
And the liquid was being poured onto the cotton bowl inside the mask once again
I smelled a secret stench of color form and either and a voice were saying bree deeply takes a most deep breas
I fought vioucely to get off that table
But my shoulders were pinned down by the full weight of a large man
The hand was holding the bottle above my face kept tilting it father and father forward and the white liquid dripped and drip onto the cotton wall blood red circles began to appear before my eyes and the circles started to spin round and round
Until they made a scallet world to the deep black hole in the center and miles away in the distance
A boys were saying that's a good boy
We're nearly there
No
We're nearly there
Just close your eyes and go to sleep
I woke up in my own bed with my anxiious mother sitting beside
Me holding my hand
I didn't think you were ever going to come around
She said you've been asleep for more than eight hours
Did doctor dunbar so my my se on on game
I asked ter
Yes
She said will it stay on
He says it will
How do you feel my darling sick
I said
After i had vomited into a small basin
I felt a little better look under pillow
My mother said
Smiling i turned and lifted a corner of my pillow and underneath
It on the snow white sheet
Theylay a beautiful golden sobbern with ahead of king george
The fifth on it's uer most side
That's for being brave
My mother said
You did very well
I'm proud of you
We called them masters in those days not teachers and as some peters
The one i fear most of all apart from the headmaster was kept in hedcastle
This man was slim and wiary
And he played football
All the football field
He wore white running shorts and white jym shoes and short white socks
His legs were as hard and thin as ramm's legs and the skin around his cards was almost exactly the color of mutton fat the hair on his head
It was not ginger
It was a brilliant dark vammillion like a right orange
And it was plasted to back with immense quantities of brilliant team in the same fashion as they had masters the parting in his hair was a white line straight down down mimiddle the scope so straight
It could only only be made with a ruler on eithe side of the parting
You could see the contracts running back through the greecy orange hair like little tram m ines catin hagas who sported ted a starh that was the same color as his hair and
Oh
What i'm a star
It was a truly terrifying site a thick orange hedge that sprouted and foudished between his nose and his upper lip and ran clear across his space from the middle of one cheek to the middle of the other
But this was not one of those nail brush misstter
She's all short and clipped and bristly
Now was it long and rupee in the war rostyle instead
It was cold most splendedly upwards all the way along as though we had had a permanent wave put into it
Or possibly curling pongues heated in the mornings over a tiny flame of metholated spirits
The only other way he could have achieved this curling effect
We boys decided was by prolonged upward brushing with a hard tooth brush in front of the looking last every morning behind the mstassh
They lived an inflamed and savage face
With a deeply collegated brow
That indicated a very limited intelligence
Life is a puzzlement
The collegated browse seem to be saying
And the world is a dangerous place
All men are enemies and small boys are insects that will turn and by you
If you don't get them verse and squash
Them
Them cabin in our caars
Le was never still his orange head twitched and joked perpetulfrom from side to side in the most alarming fashion and each twitch was accompanied by a little grunt that came out of the nostals
Hehave been a soldier in the army
In the great war
And that of course was how he had received his title
But even small insects like us knew that captain was not a very exhampted rank and only a man with the little lells to boost about would hang onto it in civilian life
It was bad enough to keep caorling hourself major
After it was all over that captain was the bottoms rumor had it that the constant pritching and jerky and snorting was caused by something called shell shock
But we were not quite sure what that was we took it to me
That an explosive object had gone off of erally coato him with such an enormous bang
That it could made him jump by in the air
And he hadn't stopped jumping
Since for a reason
That i could never properly understand cupt in hard castle had it in for me
Me
My very first first day at cient peters perhaps it was because he taught latin
And i was no good at it perhaps
It was because already at the age of nine
I was very nearly as tall as he was or even more likely it was because i took an instant dislike to his giant orange mstash
And he often caught me stararat it
It
What was probabably a little ser under the nose
I had only to pass with ten
Ten et et of him in colcordor
And he would glaare at me and shout how would just out straight boy poare your shoulders back or take hhands out be your pockets or what's so funny
May i asked what are you smarking it
Oh
Most insulting about you watch your name
Can i meend your work
I knew therefore that he was only a matter of time before the garden on captain nailed me good and proper
The cunch caenjojoined my second term
When i was exactly nine on the half
And it happened during evening prep
Every week day evening the whole school would sit for one hour in the main hall between six and seven o'clock to do prep
The master on duty for the week will be in charge of prep
Which meant that he sat high up on a dairs at the top end of the hall
And kept order some masters read a book about taking prep in some corrected exercises
But not kept in hard castle
He would sit up there on the dairs
Twitching and granting
And never once what he looked down at his desk
His small milkkeeby eyes would wrote the hall for the full sixty minutes
Searching for trouble and evl the boy who caused it the rules of prep
But simple but strict
You were forbidden to look up from your work
And you were forbidden to talk that was all the boss to it
But it left you precious little leadway in extreme circumstances
And i never knew what these were
You could put your hand up and wait
Until you were asked to speak
But you would better be wpefuly sure that the circumstances were extreme only twice during my four years
As some peters did i see your boy putting up his hand
You're in prep
The first one went like this master
What is it
Boy please said may have big excuse to go to the levitry
Master seventeen
Not you should have gone before
Boy
But so please
So i didn't want to before
I didn't know master who's fun for that can i have you work
Boy But so
Oh so so let me go
Master
One more word of you
When you're be in trouble naturally
The retd boy dirted his pants which caused the storm later on upstairs with the matron on the second ogcasion
I remember clearly that it was a summer term
And the boy put up his hand was called brieseet
I also seem to recollect that the master taking prep was our friend kept in hardcastle
But i wouldn't swear to it
The dialogue went something like this master
Yes
What is it
Breath weight please said a wasp came in through the window
And it's stung near my lip
But it's swewelling up
Master or what breath weight
A waspsir master speak up by i can't hear you a what came in for the window
Breath weed
It's hard to speak up them with with my lip or spelling up
Master with your what or spelling up
I'm trying to be funny
Braath weight
No sure a promise notsir
Master don't
T's that
That with you breaweight
I'i'been
Been ununca molip is swelling
It's hurting terribly
Master
Hurting terribly
What's hurting terribly
Braath read my lipsa is getting bigger and bigger
Master
What prevate you doing tonight
Braath read of french therbs
I have to write them out
Master
You write with your lip breath weight lno no
Sir
I don't so
But you see master or i see it is you're making an importt noise and deseming everybody in the room now get up with you work
Hey
What tough as masters make no mistake about it
And if you wanted to survive you had to become pretty tough yourself
My own term came as i said during my second term and kept in hedcast it was again taking prep
You should know that during prep every boy in the hall
Sat at his own small individual wouldn't desk these desks had the usual sloping wouldn't tops with a narrow fat strip at the file end
Where there was a groove to hold your pen and a small hole in the right hand side
In which the inquil said depends we used had adcatgible nips
And it was necessary to dip your nib into the inwell every six or seven seconds
When you were writing ballpoint pens and felt pens had not then been invented and founting pens were forbidden
The nives was be used with a fragile
A most boys kept to supply of new ones in a small box
In their traws of pockets
Prep was in progrecapcaptain heart
Carson was sitting up on the dairs in front of us
Storoking his orange of mustach tching his head and grunting through his nose
His eyes rove the hall endvously searching for mischiff
The only noise is to be heard
Were kept in heart castles
Little snaorting grunts and the soft sound of pandons moving over paper
Occasionally there was a pm as somebody dipped his kneb to violently into his tiny white pastolling inqual disaster struck
When i foolishly stuabbed the tip of my nib into the top of the desk
The nib broke
I knew i don't going to spspare one in my pocket
But a broken nib was never accepted as an excuse for not finishing prep we have been set in essay to right
And the subject was the lifestory of a penny
I still had that essay in my files
I had made a decent start
And i was rattling along fine
When i breke that nib there was still another half hour a pped to go
And i couldn't sit there doing nothing all that time knock ked i put my hand up until cat in hedcar
So i had broken down my ninii sisimply did dare and as a matter of fact
I really wanted to finish that i say i knew exactly what was going to happen to my opnny through the next two pages
And i couldn't better leave it unsaid
I glced to my right
The boy next to me was called dopson
He was the same age as me in i on a half and a nice fellow
Even now sixty years later
I can still remember that dobson's father was a doctor
And that he lived as i had learned from the label on dobson's touch box at the red house house x spbridge middle sex
Dobson's death was always touching mine
I thought i would risk it
I get my head lowered
But watched cap in heart castle le carefully
When i was fairly ly
He was looking
Looking the other way
I put a hand in front of my mouth in whispered dopson
Dopson could you lend me a knab
Suddenly
There was an explosion upon the death get in haarka
So the letwith seet was pointing at me and shouting
You're talking
I saw you talking
Don't try to day night
I just stmptly saw you talking behind your hand
I sat there frozen with teror
Every boy stopped working and looked up gap in heharcastil's face had gone from red to deep purple
And he was twitching violently though dendeny
You were talking
He outed no no so no but
And do you deny you were trying to cheat
Do you deny you 're asking dophson for help with your work
No Sir
I wasn't
I wasn't cheating
Of course you were cheating
Why else may i ask
Would you be speaking to dophson
I take it
You're nothing quite after his health
It is worth reminding the reader once again of my age
I was not a self possessed led of fourteen
Nor was i twelve or even ten years old
I was nine and a half
And at that age
One is illiquipped to tackle a grown up man with flaming orange chair and a violent temper one can do little iles but starter i broken my knib
Sir
I was spent
I was asking dogs
And if
If he could
Could let me one
Sir
You are lying criite captain in alkhole
And there was triumph in his voice
I always knew you were a liar and a cheat
As well all i want tewas said a nips
I shut up
If i were you thunder the boys on a death
Youll only get just helping to deeper trouble
I am giving you a stripe
These were the words of doom a stripe
I am giving you a stripe all around
I could feel a kind of sympathy reaching out to me from every boy in the school
But nobody moved or made assound here
I must explain the system of stars and stripes
That we had at some peters for exceptionally good work
You could be awarded a quarter star and a red dot was made with crayon besides your name of a notice board
If you got four quarter stars
A red line was drawn through the four dots
Indicating that you had completed your star for exceptionally poor work or bad behavior
You were given a stripe
And that automatically meant a thresshing from their headmaster
Every master had a book of quarter stars and a book of stripes
And these had to be filled in unsigned and torn out
Exactly like checks from a checkbook
The quarter stars were pink
The stripes with a findish blue green color
The boy receireceived the star or a stripe would pocket it until the following morning after prayers
When the headmaster would call upon anyone
Who would have been given one or the other to come forward in front of a whole school
And hand it in stripes were considered so dreamful
That they were not given very often in any one week
It was unusual for more than two or three boys to receive stripes
And now capt in hard arstle was giving one to me come here
He ordered i got up from my desk and walk to the desk
He already had his book of stripes on the desk was was fitling out out
He was using red ink and along the line
Where it said reason
He wrote talking in prep
Trying to cheat and lying
He signed it and toit out of the book
Then taking plenty of time
He filled in the counterfoil
He picked up the terrible piece of green blue paper
And waived it in my direction
But he didn't look up i took it out of his hand
And walked back to my desk
The eyes
The whole school followed my progress for the remainder of preprep satded at my desk
And did nothing having no nib
I was unable to write another word about the lifestory of a penny
But i was made to finish it
The next afternoon instead of playing games
The following morning as soon as prayers were over
The headmaster called for quarterstars ars stripes
I was the only boy to go up
The assistant masters were sitting on their upright chairs on either side of the headmaster
And i called it glimpse of kept in hadcastle arms folded across his chest head
Twitching the milky blue eyes watching me
Intentently the look of triumph still glimering on his face
I handed in my stripe
They have master took it and read the writing come on
And see me in my study
He said as soon as this is over five minutes later walking on my toes and trembling terterbbly pass through the gregreen bed door
Door entered the acred prprincce
Where they had master lived i knocked on his study
Door enter i turned the nob
And went into this large square room with bookshobs and easy chairs and the giantic desk talked in red level
Stragling ling
The arcorcorner admaster was sitting behind the desk holding my stripe in his fingers
What have you got to save yourself
He asked me and the white sharks teeth flashed dangerously between his lips
I didn't
Lisa
I said i promise i didn't
And i wasn't trying to cheat kepin heart
Castle said you were doing both badmaster said are you calling keppan arcastle a liar
No so
Oh no Sir
I wouldn't
If i were you
I had broken my nipson
And i was asking dobson
If he could lend me another
Another is what
Capin hararcastle
He says you were asking for help with your essay
Oh no
So i wasn't like ii was a long way away
From catin hacar
So
And i was only whispering
I don't think he could have heard what i said sir
So you are
Oh No
So no sure
I would never do that
It was impossible for me to win against the headmaster
What i would like to have said was yes if you
You really want to know sir
I am calling catin hara castle a liar
Because that's what he is
But it was out of the question
I did however have one trump card left to play
Or i thought i did you could ask dopson sir
I whispered ask dopsson
He cried why should i ask dopson
He would tell you what i said sir
Kept in heart castle is an officer and gengenleleman
The headmaster said he totold me
What happened
I hardly think i want to go around asking some silly little boy if kept in hard castle is speaking king trutruth kekept ililput talking king in prep bad master went on
But trying to cheat and for lying i
I'm going to give you six strokes of the game
He rose on his desk and crossed over to the corner
Cupard on the opposite side of the study
He reached up and took from the top of it three very thin yellow canes each with the bend of a handle at one end
But a few seconds he held them in his hands
Examining them with some care
Then he selected one and replaced the other two on top of the coveard then over
I was frightened ed that gacane
There is no small boy in the world
Who wouldn't be
It wasn't simply an instrument for beating you
It was a weapon for wounding
It elacerated the skin
It caused severe black and scotard bruzzing that took three weeks to disappear
And all the time during those three weeks
You could feel hehebeating along the wounds
I tried once more my boys slightly hiytheical now i didn't do it
I swear
I'm telling the truth required and bent over over there and touch your toes
But it slowly i bent over
Then i shut my eyes
Embraced myself for the first stroke crack
It was like a blghful shot
But a very hard stroke of the cane on one's buttics the time lag before you feel any pain is about four seconds
Thus the experienced canina will always pause between en rokes to allow the agony to reach its peak so for a few seconds
After the first crack i felt rtually nothing
Then suddenly came the fight
Ful cearing agononzing unbearable burning across the bottles
And as it reached it tiis the most excrutiating point
The second crack came down
I clatch totold my ankle as tight as i couldn't i bit into my lower lip
I was determined not to make a sound
But that would only give the execution of greater satisfaction crack five seconds pause crack another pause crack have another pause i was counting the strokes
And as the six one hit me
I knew i was going to survive in silence
That will do the boys behind me said i straighened up and ctched ed my back side
As hard as i possibly go it with both hands
This is always the instinctive and automatic reaction
The pain is so frightful
You try to grab a hold of it and terry it away
And they're tie to you squeeze the more
It helps i didn't not look at the headmaster as hoppt across the thick
Red carpet towards the door
The door was closed and over
It was about to open it for me so for a couple of seconds
I had to let go of my bottom with one hand turn the door up
Then i was out on hopping round in the hallway of the private sanctom directly across the hall from the headmter stustudy was the assistant master's common room
They were all in there now waiting to spread out to their respective classrooms
But what i couldn't help noticing
Even in my agonony was that this door was open
Why was it open
Had you been left that way on purpose
So that they could all hear more clearly the sound of the cane across the hall
All course it hehad and i felt quite sure that it was kept in hard castle
Who had opened it
I picted him standing in there among his colleagues snoting with satisfaction of every singing stroke small boys can be very comrecdly
When a member of their community has got into trouble
And even also also they
They feel an injustice has been done
When i returned to the classroom
I was surrounded on all sides by sympathetic faces and voices
But one particular incident has always stayed with me
A boy of my own age called heighten was so violently incenced by the whole affair
That he said to me before lunch that day you don't have a father
I do
I'm going to write to my father
And tell him what has happened
And he ''ll do something about it
He couldn't do anything
I said Oh
He
He could htenton said
And what's more he will
My father won't let them get away with this
Where are he
He now these increase hitton said in athens
But that won't make any difference
Then in there little heighten sat at down and wrote to fafather admmired so much
But of course
Nothing came of it
It was nevertheless at touching and generous gesture from one small boy to another
And i have never forgotten
