I Am the Very Model of a Modern Major-General - Martyn Green
I am the very model of a modern Major-General
I've information vegetable animal and mineral
I know the kings of England and I quote the fights historical
From Marathon to Waterloo in order categorical
I'm very well acquainted too with matters mathematical
I understand equations both the simple and quadratical
About binomial theorem I'm teeming with a lot o' news
With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse
With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse
With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse
With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotepotenuse
I'm very good at integral and differential calculus
I know the scientific names of beings animalculous
In short in matters vegetable animal and mineral
I am the very model of a modern Major-General
In short in matters vegetable animal and mineral
He is the very model of a modern Major-General
I know our mythic history King Arthur's and Sir Caradoc's
I answer hard acrostics I've a pretty taste for paradox
I quote in elegiacs all the crimes of Heliogabalus
In conics I can floor peculiarities parabolous
I can tell undoubted Raphaels from Gerard Dows and Zoffanies
I know the croaking chorus from the Frogs of Aristophanes
Then I can hum a fugue of which I've heard the music's din afore
And whistle all the airs from that infernal nonsense Pinafore
And whistle all the airs from that infernal nonsense Pinafore
And whistle all the airs from that infernal nonsense Pinafore
And whistle all the airs from that infernal nonsense Pinapinafore
Then I can write a washing bill in Babylonic cuneiform
And tell you ev'ry detail of Caractacus's uniform
In short in matters vegetable animal and mineral
I am the very model of a modern Major-General
In short in matters vegetable animal and mineral
He is the very model of a modern Major-General
In fact when I know what is meant by mamelon and ravelin
When I can tell at sight a Mauser rifle from a javelin
When such affairs as sorties and surprises I'm more wary at
And when I know precisely what is meant by commissariat
When I have learnt what progress has been made in modern gunnery
When I know more of tactics than a novice in a nunnery
In short when I've a smattering of elemental strategy
You'll say a better Major-General had never sat a gee
You'll say a better Major-General had never sat a gee
You'll say a better Major-General had never sat a gee
You'll say a better Major-General had never sat a sat a gee
For my military knowledge though I'm plucky and adventury
Has only been brought down to the beginning of the century
But still in matters vegetable animal and mineral
I am the very model of a modern Major-General
But still in matters vegetable animal and mineral
He is the very model of a modern Major-General
