Applause, Please

You broke my heart, then ghosted too

Now I'm booked and busy, jokes on you

Turned my sobs into stand-up bits

Now I'm getting laughs while you throw fits

You were chaos, but I got the plot

Took your mess and made it hot

I'm the girl with the glitter mic

Every joke lands, sorry, not quite

You were a walking one-liner

Now I headline, and I'm finer

You're the reason I'm funny now, so, thanks I guess

You flopped, but I'm out here in a sparkly dress

Took your drama, gave it flair

Now I roast you with love (kind of) on air

So cheers to the heartbreak, to the weird little fights

You gave me my set list and Friday night lights

I used to text cry, now I script

My trauma's tight, my timing's clipped

Turned “left on read” into a bit

Now I'm the one that truly hits

You're still confused, still mid-scroll

But I turned the cringe into full control

You're the reason I'm funny now, applause, please

Every ex becomes new material with ease

I made the pain cute, made the jokes land

You were bad, but you gave me a brand

So here's to the plot twist I didn't see

You ghosted, and launched my comedy!

Maybe one night, you'll catch my set

And hear your lines with zero regret

Just know I'm booked, with sparkle and sass

And you? You're just part of my laugh track past

You're the reason I'm funny now, applause, please

Every ex becomes new material with ease

I made the pain cute, made the jokes land

You were bad, but you gave me a brand

You're the reason I'm funny now, applause, please

Every ex becomes new material with ease

I made the pain cute, made the jokes land

You were bad, but you gave me a brand

So here's to the plot twist I didn't see

You ghosted, and launched my comedy!