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Let’s go!
Got an invite Friday night someone’s birthday bash
Came for the laughs ended up in a food crash
Shiny oysters on a plate smelling like low tide
Took a bite got a fright something died inside
Then the steak arrived so tough it fought back
My knife and teeth went on attack…and lost oh man what the—
They said “gourmet ”I say “no way”
This ain’t fine dining it’s a warning sign hey
My stomach’s sending SOS to me
Next stop a bar with “craft”…just wait and see yeah
Dance with the devil on a Friday night!
Bad shellfish cheap meat under neon light
Sippin’on mouthwash they call it “Herbal Spritz”
This ain’t a vibe—it’s gastro-crisis!
Dance with the devil spinning in the bathroom light!
Paid for the feast now I’m begging for my life
Consider this a public service announcement diss!
To the places serving trash with a kiss uh!
(Hey!)Food poison on the beat!
(Hey!)Can’t feel my legs or my feet!
(Hey!)Was that cilantro or detergent
(Hey!)My gut’s in a state of emergency!
Bar was cute ordered something sweet and blue
Took a sip—tasted like my minty mouthwash true
Bartender grinned “It’s a secret blend!”
Yeah secret’s out it’s a trend I don’t comprehend
Two sips in my insides start to twist
Warning signs I should’ve never missed…too late I’m—
They said “artisan ”I say “aw hell nah”
This ain’t a cocktail it’s a chemical flaw
My stomach’s waving a white flag you see
One-way ticket to the ER gee thanks a lot!
Dance with the devil on a Friday night!
Bad shellfish cheap meat under neon light
Sippin’on mouthwash they call it “Herbal Spritz”
This ain’t a vibe—it’s gastro-crisis!
Dance with the devil spinning in the bathroom light!
Paid for the feast now I’m begging for my life
Consider this a public service announcement diss!
To the places serving trash with a kiss uh!
I should’ve stayed home had some toast
Now I’m a ghost haunting the toilet most
Of the night…oh what a sight
Yelp review writing with all my might
Zero stars for you and the chef too
May your freezer burn and your reviews stay blue!
FOOD POISON!MOUTHWASH WINE!
FOOD POISON!MOUTHWASH WINE!
DON’T YOU DARE SERVE ME THAT LINE!
THIS DISS TRACK’S A HEALTHCARE SIGN!
DANCE with the DEVIL on a FRIDAY NIGHT!
Yelp review: “Would NOT recommend not alright!”
Sippin’on regret and electrolyte mix
This is my revenge in sixteen-ninth-six!
DANCE with the DEVIL spinning in the bathroom light!
Paid for the feast now I’m begging for my life
Consider this a public service announcement diss!
To the places serving trash with a kiss uh!
Mouthwash martini…rubber steak…
I’m never going out again for heaven’s sake…
(Diss…)
