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Anyway
I had no idea what i wanted to do with my life and the way i ended up on this path was from a very tragic event
I was
I maybe nineteen and my girlfriend at the time was killed in a car accident
And i passed the accident
And i didn't it was her and i kept going
And i found out shortly after that it was her and i was living in a basement apartment
I had no money
I had no heat
Nowhere i had a mattress on the floor and the apartment was invested with flees
And i was so searching
I was like why does she suddenly gone
And there are flees here
I don't understand there must be a purpose
And wouldn't dn't be so convenient
If we could just pick up the phone and cled god and asked these questions
And i started writing
And i poured out of me was an imaginary conversation with god
Which i started and i've finished writing it and i looked at it
I said to myself
And i had even been doing stand up
Ever there was no club in town
I said i'm going to to do this on the tonighshow with johnny carson at the time
He was the king
And i'm going to be the first woman in the history of the show to be called over to sit down
And several years later
I was the first woman in the histstory of the show
And only woman the history the show to sit down
Because of that phone conversation with god that i wrote
And i started this path of stand up
And it was successful
And it was great
But it was hard
Because i was trying to please everybody
And i had the secret that i was keeping that i was gay
And i thought if people found out
They wouldn't like me
They wouldn't laugh at me
Then my career turned into i got my own sit com and um that was very successful another level of success
And i thought what if i find out i'm gay
And they'll never watch
And um
I finally decided that i was living with so much shame and so much fear
That i just couldn't live that anymore
And i decided to come out and make it creative
And my character would come out at the same time
And it wasn't to make a political statement
It wasn't to do anything other than to free myself up from this heavenss
That i was carrying around
And i just wanted to be honest
And i thought what's the worse that can have
And i can lose my career
I did i lost my career
I got the show was cancelled after six years
Without even telling me i read in the paper
The phone didn't ring for three years
I had no offers nobody wanted to touch me at all
And yet i was getting letters from kids that almost committed suicide
But didn't
Because of what i did
And i realized that i had a purpose
And it wasn't just about me
And it wasn't about celebrity
But i felt it was being punshshed
It was a bad time
I was angry
I was sad
And then i was offered a talk show
And the people that offered me the talk show that tried to sell it
And most stations didn't want to pick it up
Most people didn't want to buy
So they thought nobody would watch me
And really want to look back what it
I wouldn't change a thing
I mean it was so important
Me for me to lose everything
Because i found up
What
What the most important thing is
Is to be truly yourself
