Neoclassical Massacre

Sorry, not sorry, if I sound rude

But I was the first underground dude

To make a piano record with a pop attitude

Now I got so many children it's a family feud

And that was way back in 2004

« Solo Piano » was the album that opened the door

Today they call it neoclassical but don't confuse it

It's a stretch to even call that **** yoga music

A song without a melody is atmosphere

It's okay but it can't catch your ear

When there's no tension, then there's no passion

It won't hold my attention I guess I'm old-fashioned

I hate it when my ears are not surprised That's when you know the composition's compromised

The piano has been monetized

All those fingers trying to hit the sweet spot

They've been spotified

Catalog with the Grammy nod

Piano God I'm not mad at all

I got entire albums at a hundred million streams

Which means I keep 'em listening

And you

A slave to the playlist

Face it, you're faceless

Your label's a rapist

Your music leaves no traces

Nobody loves it or hates it

And your status is so swagless

The saddest part is that your art creates no addicts

You're in a musical prison (ha ha)

Nobody's choosing to listen (ha ha)

There's a new algorithm

It's pitching your pieces

To someone in their kitchen

Trying to finish their thesis (oh no)

Oh no, they say they love you but they lie

Your stats will stay high the more you sound like A.I.

Your wafer-thin songs are vapor

You are not a painter

You are wallpaper

And do not @ me

'Cause I am not peaceful

Your math doesn't add up

'Cause we are not equals

In your Philip Glass mask, amateur

Welcome to my Neoclassical massacre

Peaceful piano, pitiful

Arpeggios unoriginal

Stereotypical

Sounds like you're typing three chords on a digital keyboard

I call you mini-me

You call it minimal

And your performance is conformist

I cringe at all those pictures of your piano in the forest

You say you take your inspiration from nature

But there's nothing faker than seeing you play on a glacier

You told your camera crew to make it look organic

Oh your piano suddenly appeared as if by magic?

You posted a sunset but the sky is cloudy

You're not Einaudi

You are Zwei-naudi

And if you wonder who I'm talking to

Well it's probably you because it's all you

And if you're offended, call my manager

The numbers 1-800-Neoclassical Massacre

F*CK WAGNER

F.*.C.K Richard Wagner

What a motherf*cking monster

King Kong conquered Western culture

F*ck him and his Nazi granddaughter

F*ck his fan club and his converts

They're not welcome at my concerts

Harder, faster, better, stronger

Kanye West is the brand new Wagner

King Kong

Ding Dong

This song is a diss song

Wagner lives on like the bloodline of Genghis Khan

And I know that we shouldn't speak ill of the dead

But this decomposing composer needs a kick in the head

First of all, he was antisemitic (what)

But worst of all (what)

He was glad to admit it (what)

He said a Jew poet (what)

Couldn't be a true poet (what)

But have you heard"Hotline Bling"?

A Jew wrote it

So can the artist and the art ever be separated?

It's hard to boycott something that you love

But it's easy if you hate it

Like if I never hear Richard Wagner again

I know I wouldn't miss him

But I still bang that R. Kelly remix to"Ignition"

Fans can't see clearly

That's why it's called fantasy

Fans can't see clearly

Every criticism is blasphemy

And fans can see the answers in the blankness of the canvas

Through the cancerous unblinking eyes of the cameras

Fake martyrs fall the farthest

Every artist is a target

Fire starters, arsonists, narcissists, professional liars

That's why it's called artifice

They're not good people

They're just people

So when I say f*ck Richard Wagner

It's cheap and it's easy

I'm a clown in the media circus on TV

With Böhmermann speaking in German

Perverting the truth and fulfilling my purpose to purchase attention by spitting these verses

But does he deserve it?

Because he's imperfect?

So when I say f*ck Wagner (what)

How about f*ck Chilly? (what)

How about f*ck ev