Fire Security

You come home tired

Every night the same

You say you love me

But you don't touch me that way

You still want dinner

Still want loyalty

Still want a woman

Who pretends not to feel her body

And you ask me questions

Like you're confused by the distance

Like desire just disappears

Because time passed between us

But here's the truth you don't want spoken

My drive didn't disappear

It multiplied

It got louder

It got clearer

The older I get

The more I want to feel alive

Not less

Not quieter

Not grateful for almost

You give me security

You give me structure

You give me history

But you don't give me heat

And I stayed patient

I stayed loyal

I stayed quiet

Until quiet started costing me

So don't look shocked

When my eyes follow something younger

Don't act surprised

When my body remembers what response feels like

I didn't cheat out of boredom

I didn't cheat out of spite

I stepped toward fire

Because I was freezing inside

You kept the house

You kept the title

You kept the comfort

I kept my desire

Two different needs

Two different lanes

One gives safety

One gives sensation

And maybe that makes you angry

But it doesn't make me wrong

You stopped meeting me

Long before I made another choice

I didn't leave you

I adapted

I didn't betray

I survived

If you wanted exclusivity

You needed presence

If you wanted fidelity

You needed honesty

I'm not ashamed

I'm informed

I know what my body needs now

Security has its place

So does fire