Guys and Dolls, Act I Scene 5: No. 10, Guys and Dolls

"Nicely (sings)

What’s playing at the Roxy?

(takes Benny to stage center)

I’ll tell you what’s playing at the Roxy:

A picture about a Minnesota man,

So in love with a Mississippi girl

That he sacrifices ev’rything

And moves all the way to Biloxi.

That’s what’s playing at the Roxy.

Benny (hits Nicely in chest) (sings)

What’s in the Daily News?

I’ll tell you what’s in the Daily News:

(shows paper to Nicely)

Story about a guy

Who bought his wife a small ruby

With what otherwise would have been his union dues.

That’s what’s in the Daily News.

(puts paper in pocket)

Nicely (takes Benny to stage right)

What’s happening all over?

I’ll tell you what’s happening all over:

Guy’s sitting home by a television set,

Who once used to be something of a rover.

Both

That’s what’s happening all over.

Love is the thing that has lick’d ’em.

And it looks like Nathan’s just another victim.

Nicely (gestures with hand to sky)

Yes sir!

When you see a guy

Reach for stars in the sky

You can bet that he’s doing it for some doll.

Benny (leans on Nicely)

When you spot a John waiting out in the rain

(puts collar up)

Chances are he’s insane

As only a John can be for a Jane.

Nicely

When you meet a gent

Paying all kinds of rent

For a flat that could flatten the Taj Mahal!

Both

Call it sad,

Call it funny,

But it’s better than even money

(pounds fist)

That the guy’s only doing it for some doll.

Benny

When you see a Joe

Saving half of his dough

You can bet there’ll be mink in it for some doll.

Nicely

When a bum buys wine

Like a bum can’t afford

It’s a cinch that the bum

Is under the thumb of some little broad.

Benny

When you meet a mug

Lately out of the jug,

And he’s still lifting platinum folderol,

Both

Call it hell,

Call it heaven,

It’s a probably twelve to seven

(pounds fist)

That the guy’s only doing it for some doll.

(gestures with hand plucking)

(A Guy and Doll enter, – She has a long cigarette holder. He carries a load of suit boxes and hat boxes. Stops. He takes lighter from pocket and lights cigarette. She blows smoke in his face. She exits, followed by Guy.)

Benny

When you see a sport

And his cash has run short

Make a bet that he’s banking it with some doll.

Nicely

When a guy wears tails

With the front gleaming white

Who the hell do you think

He’s tickling pink

On Saturday night?

Benny

When a lazy slob takes a good steady job

And he smells from Vitalis and Barbasol,

Both

Call it dumb,

Call it clever,

Ah, but you can give odds forever

That the guy’s only doing it

For some doll, some doll, some doll.

The guy’s only doing it for some doll."