I don't want to leave Bernadette
But I don't want to live with the jet set
I don't want to leave with you payin' all my debts
With that alimony palimony whatever it is you get
Ooh Bernadette you are so expensive
You've never done a day's work in your life
You've got no incentive
You've made a career out of punting off all of the men you've slept with
Ooh Bernadette you are so expensive
I can't get a job Bernadette
So all that I can offer are a lot of bad debts
If you marry me Bernadette
You'll lose the alimony palimony whatever it is you get
Ooh Bernadette you are so expensive
You've never done a day's work in your life
You've got no incentive
You've made a career out of punting off all of the men you've slept with
Ooh Bernadette you are so expensive
Ooh Bernadette Bernadette
Ooh Bernadette Bernadette
Bernadette's got a house in the country
She's really got it made
Her lawyers made her filthy rich
She's got all expenses paid
Maybe a famous rock star will fly you away
Then you'll eat him all up
And spit him out
With a dash of Perrier
And when you've had enough
You'll throw him away
And take him for all you can get
Yeah you like it don't you Bernadette
I don't want to leave Bernadette
But I want to keep a little bit of self respect
I don't want to leave with you paying all my debts
With that alimony palimony whatever it is you get
Ooh Bernadette you are so expensive
You've never done a day's work in your life
You've got no incentive
Women like you oughta be locked up
