Smell My Beard (Original Version) - Frank Zappa
Now the sound that you hear in the background right now
Is the sound caused by George Duke agitating two metal insignias
These are badges that he removed from a coupla boogers
That Marty tried to palm off on him in the last town that we was in
Actually theyre booger pasties
And he's hitting the booger pasty with a little stick to get a very interesting musical effect
You know he does this every night
And sometimes he becomes so overwrought
So excited by the fact that he's actually touching a piece of metal
That might have at one time come in contact with the actual flesh of a booger bear
And so sometimes he misses it
George:
Oh Lord have mercy
FZ:
And he hits his thumb and he hurts hisself Yes it hurts very much
But he likes pain
We can tell that he likes pain because he's in this group
George:
But but its very close to other things
FZ:
Yes but later that night after George was finished fondling the booger pasty
A thought came to his mind how how can I possibly get any nook tonight in (pasege )
If I don't put this thing down and play the piano and get funky for these people
And so George as you say in your language took it away
George:
But before we get funky the continuing stories of
Napoleon:
Moontrick
George:
No this ain't moontrick this time we go to moontrick next show
This is the continuing stories of the boogers of Marty Perellis
Do you all know who he is There he is Hes got a white shirt on an a
FZ:
Your two-hunderd and fifty closest relatives the Mothers of Invention
George:
Yes anyway he was in my room I invited some people over
Young ladies They looked interesting Their names shall go unmentioned
FZ:
The reason they looked interesting is
Because they apparently were intelligent enough to dress themselves
George:
Anyway what was happening was nothing
Ha ha wasnt nothing happening
So I said Lets get this party on the road
I said lemme call the roadmanager
I said what's your name Mighty Perellis come down here and meet Miss Cool Miss Dew & Miss eh Miss Stool
So we so Marty got in there and he was there about five minutes
And all of a sudden I began to hear other things
I said what you doing over there
I said I never heard nobody do that king of thing before
I said come out of that corner what's wrong with you
So he comissed it We were all asking: Men what you're doing over there
FZ:
Really whipping it just whipping it into a frenzy
George:
All of a sudden he was gone
I look around and Marty had took the Booger out of his room
I said: Where you going He went down to his room which was room 33
An hour later I went to his room I knocked on his door
I said: What you doin He said
I said: Say that again I said: Ho ho
It was late We had an eight o clock wake up
You all know what that is Eight o clock wake up
Eight o clock wake up eight o clock wake up eight o clock wake up
Eight o clock wake up eight o clock wake up ahrrrrrr
So Marty came out in the hall and looked in the pool and he said
Can I say this He said: Smell my beard I said: You must be crazy
Napoleon:
I had to smell it
George:
Show how ywas walking Marty
And he said: Smell my beard I said: I ain't gonna smell nothing
Napoleon said: Ill
Napoleon:
Check it out I told you check it out make sure
George:
Anyway if you wanna hear
Napoleon:
You know what it smell like
FZ:
Marty's odor
George:
Come to the next show for the continuing stories of
Napoleon:
Marty's odor
George:
Marty's trick But for now we go to
