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At school my teachers said I'd fail in life
Until this morning they were right
In a meeting about innovation
And how it can be maximised
I was struck by a flash of insight
The grown-up world is a confusing place
I've never quite understood it
But realised as I was told that this is more than just an office space
That everybody's full of shit
Now that I've reached this understanding
The truth is right before my eyes
If I'm to win the game of life and what's now known as adulting
Just got to walk the phoney line
Like the office brown-nosers and the barroom posers
Who are ego-centric little jerks
The creative directors with no bullshit detector
And the ones who think a phone call is work
And the toxic male wankers
Who claim to love the banter
When I was young I thought that bullshit
Only came from certain types
Like priests, cops, lawyers and journalists
But now I'm finally getting it
Bullshit's all pervasive and worldwide
Like with male feminists and all-purpose activists
And twats who drink in upscale bars
The serial winners who go to sportsman's dinners
And self-styled business superstars
Who collect and fix up classic cars
And don't know how lame they are
And the ones who act like blowhards
To disguise how clueless they are
I hope that I've just made you wiser
And you're no longer blind to see
When you open up your eyes
You'll find that everyone's living a lie
Including you and me
