Who borrowed the dusk away
and forgot to return my dawn
I close my eyes
not for sleep
just been awake too long
want to shift into another position
But a voice inside
says no
Right after it ended
I told everyone
it'll pass
who hasn't hurt a few times
Words spoken too full
even I believed them
Days go on as usual
nights I close the window as usual
Life tidied up
neat and proper
I almost thought
I'd really made it past that wound
But that voice inside
still says no
Dreams are stubborn things
they don't listen
The walls you build by day
they tear them all down at night
I finally let out a breath
and said: alright
I allow myself
just tonight
allow you to come back
and crash right through my heart
allow those words
not yet cold
allow myself to be weak
I'll face it at dawn
I allow myself
just this once
to admit no matter how far I go
I still can't outrun your shadow
admit every song I cut off
I sang every one to the chorus before letting go
A long time passed
so long I forgot what I was even avoiding
just some places
burn just to pass by
some songs
I cut off at the first note
I thought that meant I'd healed
later I understood
the truly healed
don't need to take detours
those who take detours
still carry
old keys in their pockets
But this time
I allow myself not to think
Dreams still come
like an old cat
who knows the old address
no matter how many times you move
I don't shoo it away anymore
I let it curl up beside me
I allow myself
just tonight
allow you to come back
and crash right through my heart
allow those words
not yet cold
allow myself to be weak
I'll face it at dawn
I allow myself
just this once
to admit no matter how far I go
I still can't outrun your shadow
admit every song I cut off
I sang every one to the chorus before letting go
Do you know that feeling
not that you can't forget
but that you've finally stopped wanting to
Fought that war with myself so long
got tired
then one day
I sat by the window
watching the sky slowly lighten
that door in my heart
just stayed open
not closing it
not inviting anyone in
just open
when the wind blew through
it actually felt kind of nice
turns out allowing yourself to still love someone
is so much easier
than forcing yourself to forget
Dawn is almost here
I allow myself
to stop right here
not moving forward
not looking back
You still walk around in my heart
but I'm not following anymore
just sitting
watching you pace back and forth
like watching rain
fall on someone else's windowsill
I allow you to still be here
and I allow myself to let go
Who borrowed the dusk away
forgot to return my dawn
It's okay
I allow the dawn not to come
and I allow myself
to turn the page
this time I'm not lying to myself
