Moments

I make a tally on my body

For the times I've hurt

I know I'm lucky, given time

They wash away

But the ones that remain, I know

I've been at my worst

I know they'll stay

I know I need it but I don't want it

Does that make me insane?

Or does it make me

An addict or an idiot?

I know what my parents would say

And I feel like a slave to myself

And I can't break away

And I hold onto

That faint glimpse of hope

With each passing day

It's a fool's game I play

And I can't hold it much longer

I can't stand up if I can't be stronger

All I need is a place

Where I can learn to love again

If that's in you

Treat me the way I treated you

So what defines me? Is it you?

Or the footprints I leave behind?

Is it what we made

Or the things I've done?

You know I'm searching for an answer

In a cold and lonely place

And I know that I'll break

It's a matter of time

And of what you'll do

But I'll still play your fool