Ross：
Picking up the slip of paper
Hello What's this Oh rightits that girl's phone number
Rachel ignores him
Yeah yeah there it is just a phone number areally hot girl gave me
He holds it so that Rachel can see it she continues to ignore him
It's nobig deal I mean it is her home phone number but
Rachel still ignores him
Whoa
Throws it inher lap
Whoa whoops I almost lost this baby Yeah the lovely Amanda gives me her number andI I go and drop it
He waves it in front of Rachel's face Then suddenly Phoebe has to sneeze andRachel quickly grabs the slip of paper and gives it to Phoebe for her to sneeze into
Phoebe：Thank you
Opening Credits
Gunther：Rachel
Rachel：Yeah
Gunther：When's your birthday
Walks away
Chandler is talking to Monica and notices a beautiful woman
Monica：Just go up to her and ask her out
Chandler laughs
Oh what's the worst thing thatcould happen
Chandler：I could die
Ross glares at Chandler
Chandler：I tell people secrets It makes them like me
Phoebe：
Entering
Oh
Chandler：Hey
Phoebe sneezes
Phoebe：
In a nasally voice from her cold
But I'm unemployed my music is all I really have now Well music and making my own shoes
She puts her shoe on the table and it's horriblydecorated
Pretty huh
Sneezes
Chandler：
Gets up
Softly
Wish me luck
Ross：
Loudly
Good luck
Chandler：Wish it
To the woman Kathy he likes
Hi Hi I I was just sitting over there and uhh Chandler My name is Chandler Did I say that
Kathy：With a K
Chandler：Oh oh hey
Kathy：Wow You are really good at this
Joeyenters
Oh and there he is now
Joey：Hey
Joey kisses Kathy
Joey：Didn't I tell ya Always showin' off
Starts to sing
Smelly cat smelly cat What are they feeding you
Stops singing
This chick sounds good
Singing
Smellycat smelly
Stops singing
Hey Gunther be a good little boy and bring me a whiskey
Chandler：
Sees Kathy is up watching TV
Hi
Kathy：Hi
Chandler：Oh my God That's why I got up too
Kathy：Oh please
Kathy：
Laughs
Oh oh oh oh
Chandler：Is it on
Chandler：Hey
Runs over and gets his wonder broom
Kathy：Oh my God
Chandler：Oh It's on It's on
Chandler jumps into the canoe and sits down The chick starts chirping and Chandler reachesdown to pick him up
Chandler：There we go little fella
Kathy：
Laughs
What about the duck
Chandler：Well the duck can swim
Hits him
Phoebe：
Singing drunk
My sticky shoes my sticky sticky shoes why do you stick on me ba a by Thanks for the lights honey
Monica：That cold makes you sound so great
Coughs really loudly
Kathy：Okay
Rachel：You love her
Chandler：All right
All：Ohh
Chandler：All right
Monica：
Turning around and doing that I'm making out with someone thing with her hands
Ooh umm oh Kathy Kathy I love you Oh
She turns around and sees Gunther staring at herand stops suddenly
Ross：
Entering
Hey
Monica：Hey
Phoebe：Hey
Ross：
Loudly
So I'm going over to Amanda's tonight
Monica：Rachel's not here
Ross：Oh
Monica：How's it going with her
Rachel：
Entering with a guy
Hi guys This is Josh Josh these are my friends and that's Ross
Phoebe：Hi
Josh：Dudes
She points to his NYU Soccer
Football for the rest of theworld
Sweatshirt he's wearing
Rachel：Okay
He starts to leave and Rachel grabs him and gives him a passionate kiss
I'll missyou
Josh：****
Exits
Monica：Very
Ross：Oh
He bangs his fists together
Rachel：What was that
Ross：Monica knows
Gives Monica the fist thing
For my date tonight so ah I'lljust head
Clears her voice and in hernormal voice
You guys should come hear me ooh hear me Ooh
Tries to sing
My sticky shoes eww Eww I lost my ***y phlegm
Amanda：
Opening the door
Hi
Ross：Hi
Amanda：Hi Ben
Ross：Wow You you look great
Amanda：Thanks
Ross：
She lets him in
Okay
To her son
Hey Tommy
Amanda：I am so glad that you could come over tonight
Ross：What
Ross：I I I
Amanda：
Noticing the bottle of wine he has
Oh I don't mean to be a square but I'd reallyappreciate it if you wait and drink your wine after the kids are asleep Oh uh thanks for this I hopeI can do the same for you sometime
She leaves
Ross：Who wants to make some long distance calls
Chandler：Kathy Kathy Hi Kathy Kathy
She doesn't hear him and keeps running Chandlerstarts chasing her as the theme to The Mod Squad starts to play first a car almost hits him andthen gets mustard splashed on him as he runs by a hot dog vendor
Kathy
He keeps runningand gets tangled up in the leashes of five dogs in desperation he throws his paper
Fetch Fetch it
He frees himself and resumes the chase
Kathy Kathy Kathy
He now trips and falls into a pile ofgarbage he tries to get up and scream her name again but he has a piece of spinach in his mouth He gets out of the garbage and starts crossing the street by running over the hoods of a couple ofcabs
Kathy
He jumps in front of her and out of breath he says
Kathy
Kathy：Hey
Chandler：Okay
He walks away disgusted with himself
Commercial Break
Monica：Oh come on You're making it sound worse than it actually was
Ross：Her date tipped me ten dollars
Monica laughs
Phoebe runs into the kitchen with wet hair opens the window and sticks her head outside
Chandler：
Entering
Okay You were right I'm in love with Joey's girlfriend
Phoebe：What
Ross：Are you serious
He waits for a reaction when hedoesn't get one
No you're not Chandler We still love you Chandler
Monica：
Sneezes
Oh gosh Phoebe I think I caught your cold
Phoebe：You mean you stole it
Monica sneezes again
Don't cover your mouth when you dothat
Joey and Kathy enter laughing
Joey：Hey
Kathy：
To Chandler
We were just talking about you
Chandler：Really
Chandler：
Laughs
Right in there
He opens his eyes and sees that the chick and theduck are still sitting in front of him
All right let's go over the concept one more time
Joey：
Entering
Hey
Chandler：Hey
Joey：Hey guys
To Chandler
Listen uh you wanna get some dinner with me and Kathy tonight
Joey：It's 4:30
Chandler：You you do
Joey：Yeah You don't like Kathy
Chandler：You got me
Chandler：Yeah Right
He turns to go into his bedroom then stops
But that's onlybecause you're not eating anything right
Chandler：Okay
Monica：
Lying on the couch suffering from her cold
Ross isn't here
Rachel：Oh
She tries to walk away from Josh by he keeps holding her
Stop it
Rachel：Yeah
Monica gives a sarcastic thumbs up
Josh leaves
I am soo gonna marry that guy
Looking in her wallet
Ohhh
Monica：What
Rachel：I think he's stealing from me
Monica：Why
Rachel：Because he's stealing from me
Phoebe：
Entering
Hi It's me And soup
To Rachel
Hey I just saw Josh he looks so yummy inyour leather jacket
Rachel：Ughh
Storms out after him
Phoebe：
To Monica
Here now I don't eat chicken so it's just noodle soup And there's no chickenin the broth either so it's really just noodle water
Monica：Thank you so much Phoebe
Phoebe：
Picking up Monica's used Kleenex and putting some in her pocket
Sure
Monica：What are you doing with those
Phoebe：It's okay How's the soup
Monica：Umm
Nodding her head Good
Monica sets the soup down and Phoebe picks it up and licks the rim
Monica：Ohhhh Gross
Joey：Is she great or what
Kathy：
To Chandler
So Huh What do you think
Kathy：Not your type She's gorgeous
Chandler：Y'know what I think it is It's the fishnet stockings Y'know Whenever I see a girl infishnet stockings it reminds me of my father in fishnet stockings
Leaves
Joey：
To Kathy
I'll be right back
To Chandler
What was that
Chandler：What
Joey：Kathy was being really nice and you just walked away I thought we had a deal
Chandler：I am pretending
Joey gives him athumbs up
No no it'll be good I can tell her much I've been thinking about her That I haven'tstopped thinking about her since the moment I met her That I'm so fantastically over the top wanna slit my own throat in love with her that for every minute of every hour of every day Ican't believe my own d**n bad luck that you met her first
Ross：
Entering
Hey So uhh Amanda just just dropped me off Yeah that's one of the things Ilove about her she's uh she's old enough to drive
To Monica
So uhh I guess you're not goingto mom and dad's tonight
Rachel：Well where's Amanda
Ross：At least I know she's not going out with me to get into R rated movies
Ross：You see Amanda and I have a very special
Monica：
Interrupting
You have nothing You're not even going out You're her baby sitter Youhave a 12 year old girl's job
Rachel：
Laughing
Ohh that is soo sad
Ross starts laughing
Showsher her ring
Ross：fine
Rachel：Sorry
Ross：Here
Hands her her cough drops
To Rachel
At least I made ten bucks in my relationship
Rachel：Y'know
She does Ross's little gesture In response Ross puts his hands behind his neck with his armssticking straight out and starts flapping them together
Phoebe：
Singing
Platting goats are platting Platting down the street Platting goats are platting leaving little treats
To Gunther
Does it even work without my ***y voice
Gunther：I like it
Sneezes
Gunther：What
Phoebe grabs Gunther and kisses him He then falls to the couch in shock
Joey：
Opening the door wearing nothing but a sock and holding a dart board over the 'LittleGeneral '
Hey
Chandler turns down the TV
Now we're not actually gonna be sleeping in her butdo you mind
Chandler：Can I sleep on your couch
Monica nods 'Yes ' And they both walk to the couch looking all depressed
Closing Credits
Phoebe：
Singing
And I'm still waiting for my paper mache man Thank you my babies
Applause
Gunther：Rachel
Rachel：Yeah
Gunther：I don't know if you heard about what happened between me and Phoebe the otherday
Rachel：No
Rachel：
Confused
Okay
Rachel：
Really confused
Okay
Gunther：I knew you'd understand
