Why does this smile feel like a physical weight?
Who am I keeping safe by looking like this?
Is it them?
Or am I just afraid to show the rust?
My internal battery says zero percent
But my lips keep curving up on habit
Why do I do that?
The glass shows a person I do not know
The temperature in my chest is freezing
But I keep telling the mirror I am doing great
The world wants a fast answer
It wants a clean, polished screen
But my thoughts are sticky like drying paint
My fingers are stiff from holding the pose
What happens if I just stop nodding?
Will the floor actually open up?
I can drop the heavy plastic shield
I do not need to pass a test today
Nobody is grading my silence
I am allowed to just sit with the static
Why am I wearing this happy face?
Who said I have to paint over my own rain?
Let the grey mist wash the color away
The ground underneath me is not moving
I am okay even when the music stops
I can just let the mask slide down
The daylight feels like a sharp needle today
It shows every small dent I want to hide
The knot in my throat is a hard iron lock
Why do I punish myself for being tired?
Am I the only one missing the instruction book?
Or is everyone just playing the same part?
I do not want a checklist of things to fix
The ready-made words from books are too cold
They try to glue the pieces back too fast
But some things need to stay loose for a while
I want to listen to the empty space
That is where my real self is hiding
My sentences do not have to rhyme
My breath can be short and uneven
I am not a product on a shelf
I am just a person trying to hear myself
Why am I wearing this happy face?
Who said I have to paint over my own rain?
Let the grey mist wash the color away
The ground underneath me is not moving
I am okay even when the music stops
I can just let the mask slide down
Listen to the low hum of this note
It stays steady while the clock spins fast
Can I trust the weight of my own skin?
I am still here, and that is a factual truth
I survived the last sixty seconds
Maybe that is the only success I need
The tight knots are starting to unravel
Inch by inch, the internal climate changes
Why was I trying to climb a wall that is not there?
I only need to fill the space where I stand
If my feet cannot take a step forward
We can just watch the ink dry on the page
The frozen block inside is turning to fluid
It pours out, and it does not mean failure
My pulse is finding a softer, slower track
Like a quiet avenue after the crowd leaves
I am not lost in this thick fog
I am just finding a different way to see
No more acting for an empty room
No more wearing the plastic armor
The raw texture of my skin is enough
I am right here with myself
Why am I wearing this happy face?
Who said I have to paint over my own rain?
Let the grey mist wash the color away
The ground underneath me is not moving
I am okay even when the music stops
I can just let the mask slide down
Why am I wearing this happy face?
The noise can bounce off the outside walls
I am safe with my own messy thoughts
I will walk through the wet mud without a map
My core is tougher than the concrete streets
I can just let the mask slide down
No more happy face
Just the real temperature of my skin
I am right here
I am safe with who I am
