Everybody Goes To Hell

Candi Beth, watcha’ doin’?

Candi Beth, what are you doin’?

I’m sorry Mom, I’m a pagan, sold my soul to Carl Sagan

And I know that’s your worst nightmare coming true

Remember when you said you love god more than you love me

No wonder I have these abandonment issues

I might be a witch because I like burning candles

And I have a crystal collection

But you believe you’re possessed by a man

Who offers you cosmic protection

Don’t pray for me, I don’t need to be forgiven

Everybody goes to hell in somebody else’s religion

We all want to have the answers, and we all want to go to heaven

But everybody goes to hell in somebody else’s religion

Religion

I’m sorry Dad I’m a heathen, I’m happy with my demons

I discovered they’re a part of who I am

And I know you’ll be embarrassed when you see the truth about

My life and sexuality on Instagram

But your version of god sounds like my abusive ex

The one I was too scared to leave

Do I really deserve to be tortured forever

Because I no longer believe

Don’t pray for me, I don’t need to be forgiven

Everybody goes to hell in somebody else’s religion

We all want to have the answers, and we all want to go to heaven

But everybody goes to hell in somebody else’s religion

Religion

So ring the bells, light the effigy

Burn the witch if that’s what you think of me

I didn’t lose my faith, I threw it away

Ring the bells, light the effigy

Burn the witch if that’s what you think of me

I didn’t lose my faith, I threw it away, I threw it away

Don’t pray for me, I don’t need to be forgiven

Everybody goes to hell in somebody else’s religion

We all want to have the answers, and we all want to go to heaven

But everybody goes to hell in somebody else’s religion

Religion

I just want to take a moment to apologize

To anyone I might have hurt

And to anyone I tried to convert

Either successfully, or unsuccessfully

Uh, to my best friend Justine

I’m really sorry about that time I called you

In the middle of the night

And I begged you to accept Jesus as your

Savior so you wouldn’t go to hell

That was really shitty

And um, to my Mom and Dad

I love you