Environments (Explicit)

Trynna keep my head high

Stuck workin this 8-5

Takin chances erryday

And strugglin' to stay alive

Trynna place myself in environments

Where I thrive

Hopin' that I'm offered

Some enlightenment

On my drive

Needin' a lil space

But I'm empty

Now fill in the blanks

Life is like a puzzle

Need a combo

Just to feel safe

Ain't been where I went

But they swearin' Imma be okay

Ain't did what I did

But they love to say we both the same

Sadness on the face

—it's pain behind every tear

Better days are comin'

But I hear that **** every year

Things are gonna change

I face a blunt

And then I face a fear

Hope I have the courage

And the will

To make it outta here

Gettin' to know myself

Learning what I do

And don't admire

Don't like sticky fingers

But it's too fine

When you use a grinder

Coulda threw the towel

I'm just lucky

To be raised a fighter

Appreciating my scars

Cause we all need a good reminder

Lights are on

But no one's home

Walking in the dark alone

Realize that i'm reaping

Every single one of the seeds

Ive sewn

Not scared of

What i'm aware of

I find fear in the unknown

Ain't think someone

Who brings so much warmth

Could be so cold

Shits fallin'

Apart right in front of me

Trynna pick the pieces

But the **** keep crumbling

Felt pain that I could control

When I was cuttin'

I feel alive

When I wanna die-

I know it's troublin'

Ion be wanting for nothin'

Just need love and some money

I was willing to give it all

But they took it all from me

I be talkin' to the walls

You prolly think that **** funny

Keep declinin' all my calls

Nigga know you up to suntin'

Trynna keep my head high

Stuck workin this 8-5

Takin chances erryday

And strugglin' to stay alive

Trynna place myself in environments

Where I thrive

Hopin' that I'm offered

Some enlightenment

On my drive

In the lines

It's just not no limit on this road

Swervin' around speed bumps

And jumpin' over potholes

Ain't accomplished shit

But wan tell me how to make mine

Useless wishin'

Thinkin' what

If heaven ****ed wit facetime

Movin' on

And movin' up

I'm trynna keep

My feelings tucked

No electricity

But I'm connected to the plug

Same ones dissin' me

Be the main ones

Trynna show me love

Same ones distancin'

Sayin I'm the one

Not close enough

Crushing goals

And chasing dreams

Got racks stuffed

In my Goodwill jeans

I can look both ways

But don't know

What is ahead of me

I could take a bullet for you

You wouldn't break a sweat for me

Do what's necessary

Imma get it by any means

If no one else is

Just **** em

Cause IM proud of me

And I can't blame em

Even I woulda doubted me

And I can't change it

It just is what it gotta be

Drivin' through a cloud of smoke

I swear this ***** keep following

Sympathizing wit

The lil girl that's inside

Errbody from my childhood

— broke my heart or lied

Doesn't matter

Cause they both the same in my eyes

So much **** is wrong

And you can't tell me that ain't right

Attracting places welcomin'

Got issues that I'm dealing wit

Field of known-unknowns

But know the meds

Was just not helpin' it

Shoulda bought sum different

No refund on all the time I spent

Pray my offspring never

Need assistance

From the government

Cause I'm

Trynna keep my head high

Stuck workin this 8-5

Takin' chances erryday

And strugglin' to stay alive

Trynna place myself in environments

Where I thrive

Hopin' that I'm

Offered some enlightenment