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This year has been the hardest of your whole life
So hard you cannot see a future
Most days
The pain is bigger than anything else
Takes up the whole horizon
No matter where you are
You feel unsafe you feel unsaved
Your past so present you can feel your baby teeth
Sitting on the couch
You swear your feet don't reach the floor
You keep remembering the first time you saw a bird's nest
Held together by an old shoe lace and scraps of a plastic bag
You knew the home of a person could be built like that
A lot of things you'd rather throw away
You keep worrying you're taking up too much space
I wish you'd let yourself be the milky way
Remember when I told you I was gonna become a full time poet
And you paid my rent for three years
Best friend
Angel of the get through
All living is storm chasing
Every good heart has lost its roof
Let all the walls collapse at your feet
Scream timber when they ask you how you are
Fine is the suckiest word
It is the opposite of here
Here is the only place left on the map
Here is where you learn laughter can go extinct
And come back
I am already building the museum
For every treasure you unearth in the rock bottom
Holy vulnerable cliff
God mason
Heart heavier than all the bricks
Say this is what the pain made of you
An open open open road
An avalanche of feel it all
Don't ever let anyone tell you
You are too much
Or it has been too long
Whatever keeps the stutterer from stuttering when he sings a song
You are made of that thing
That unbreakable note
That photography of you at five years old
The year you ran away from school
Because you wanted to go home
You are almost there
You are the same compass you have always been
You are the same friend who never left my side
During my worst year
You caught every tantrum I threw
With your bare hands
Chucked it back at the blood moon
Said its okay
Everyone's survival looks a little bit like death
I wrote a poem called say yes while I was cursing you
For not letting me go
Best friend
This is what we do
We gather each other up
We say
The cup is half
Yours and half mine
We say alone is the last place you will ever be
We say tonight let's stay inside reading pema chodron
While everyone else is out on the town
Pema will say only to the extent we
Expose ourselves over and over to annihilation
Can that which is indestructible in us be found
You'll say pema is so wise
And I'll say yes she is
And we are too
Angels of the get through
We are too
