Phantom Pain / the rapture

Losing you felt like losing a limb, it doesn’t hurt anymore, but I still get phantom pains every now and then, and I don’t even miss you just the parts of me you took with you when you left, I loved you so much, thought you were an extension of myself

You weren’t vital to my survival, it’s just what it felt like, it didn’t kill me to lose you I just thought that it might- and right when I think I’m finally fine, the healing is done it’s been enough time- that’s when, it sinks back in… the invisible, and incurable phantom pain of, losing a limb

Losing you felt like an amputation, and I have to remind myself I couldn’t have cut you off if it weren’t for the best, and I don’t even miss you I just miss how whole I felt before you left, thought I was in love, but now I think that I was just codependent

Because, you weren’t vital to my survival, it’s just what it felt like, it didn’t kill me to lose you I just thought that it might- and right when I think I’m finally fine, the healing is done, it’s been enough time- that’s when, it sinks back in… the invisible, and incurable phantom pain of, losing a limb

It felt so good, to be wanted, I willingly ignored the ache, yeah, it felt so good to be wanted, that I convinced myself, love must be pain, it must be pain

You weren’t vital to my survival, it’s just what it felt like, it didn’t kill me to lose you I just thought that it might- and right when I think I’m finally fine, the scars have all faded, it’s been enough time- that’s when, it sinks back in… the invisible, and incurable, the impossible, irreversible, pins-and-needles, thousand-cuts, life-changing phantom pain of, losing a limb

You were the rapture, you came and went and left me behind, and I’ve been waiting on a second coming but I realized, you rarely give first chances let alone second tries, salvation was never made for me- I’ve been praying to false gods my whole life, religion and alcoholism run in my family but I’m pretty sure all that’s gonna fix this is time

It was only a matter of, It was only a matter of, It was only a matter of, It was only a matter of,

It was only a matter of time