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Still Holding Loss - Aliza
Lyrics by：Ricky Alone
Composed by：Ricky Alone
Produced by：Aliza
Hmmm
Yeah
I'm still holding lost
Hmm
I packed up all your letters in a box
But I never found the strength to throw them off
Like if I keep the pieces you're still near
Like if I hold the hurt I hold you here
Your side of the bed still knows your name
I still french when the house feels the same
I don't cry loud I just go numb
Like my heart forgot how to be undone
I don't miss the pain I miss the proof
That what we had was real was true
And I'm trying not to chase the past
But it runs too fast
I'm still holding lost
Like it's all that I've got
Like the memory of you
Is the only thing that's not slipping through my hands
Fading into frost
I'm moving on but honestly
I'm still holding lost
I laugh with my friends and I look okay
But there's a quiet ache that never goes away
Like I'm learning how to live again
But I'm living in my almost lifetime
You didn't even thunder or in flames
Just code a text and self the blame
And now I'm stuck between the truth and what if
Trying to forgive
I don't want you back
I want the peace that I had before you left me weak
And I'm trying not to feel too much
But you still touch
I'm still holding the ropes
Like it's all that I've got
Like the memory of you is the only thing
That's not slipping through my hands
Fading into frost
I'm moving on but honestly
I'm still holding lost
Maybe one day you'll say your name
And it won't feel sharp
Maybe one day you'll hear our song
And it won't break my heart
But right now we'd be everywhere
In the quiet in the cold
And I let go of the future
But I can't let go of us
I'm still holding us
Even when I smile
'Cause healing isn't any hard
It just takes a little while
And I'm doing my best
But I still get lost
I'm holding on
But honestly I'm still holding lost
Mmmmm
I'm still holding lost
But I'm trying yeah I'm trying
