True Story - Bobby Bare
This mornin' I jumped on my horse
And went out for a ride
Some wild outlaws chased me
And they shot me in the side
So I crawled into a wild cat's
Cave to find a place to hide
But some pirates found me a sleepin' there
And soon they had me tied
Till a lady zombie cut me loose
And begged to be my bride
So I said I'd come back
Wednesday but I must admit I lied
Cause I run away into the swamp
But I forgot my guide
And I stepped into some quicksand
And no matter how I tried
I couldn't get out until
I met a crocodile named Clyde
Who took me to some cannibals
Who planned to have me fried
They built a fire under me
And I swear I almost cried
Till an eagle come and swooped me up
And through the air we flied
But he dropped me in a boilin'
Lake a thousand miles wide
And you know what happened then I died
