Uffington Wassail-Half Man Half Biscuit
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Uffington Wassail - Half Man Half Biscuit

Oh say I'm not the only one to fill with trepidation

Walking across the forecourt of the fire station

My wariness consumes me yet still protects me from

The dimmer switch and the membership of Britannia music club

I adventured for a fortnight in the valley of the Rhone

Defied capricious mistrals on which tragedies are blown

Dismounting at the roadside to lubricate my chain

I heard the hounds of retribution barking their refrain

Let's go the met bar

And cause an altercation

Let's go the Groucho

And snap at rakish heels

For a month I went all floppy just to see where I'd end up

The morgue was my considered guess or maybe Martinique

The stern grind of reality however took

It's course

I stayed exactly where I was and suffered endless Feltz

Because you had a daughter and chose to call her rain

Because you didn't indicate to go down Woodchurch lane

Your am dram class has been postponed indefinitely

Because the root of Jesse's just turned up in glorious majesty

Singing sealed knot society let's see you try and do this one

Luton Town

Millwall

Nineteen eighty five

Hand me down my silver trumpets

Sound the revolution bell

There's a Cher impersonator

Rising up in Israel

Late lunch audience we've got all your addresses

Lazy greedy farmers pick your own strawberries

Is that our phone ringing or is it on the telly

Let's do the bongo laced twenty second album

Vreni Schneider

You're my downhill lady

Vreni Schneider

You're the queen of the slopes

Vreni Schneider

You're my downhill lady

Vreni Schneider

You're the queen of the slopes

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