Koalas Are Adorable and Dumb

Koalas live up high in trees

Marsupials from Oz

They look like teddy bears

But trust me, that's just a facade

Eighty centimeters tall

Ten kilos in their frame

But only males scream like demons

And man, they seriously stink

They sleep for twenty hours

Eyes half-dead in the sun

They eat nothin' but eucalyptus

And that's a wild one

It's toxic, bitter

Full of cyanide bite

No other creature dares touch it

They just might be right

Oh, koala so damn

Cute but dumb as stone

A masterclass in bad nutrition

Barely any brain to own

Eucalyptus ain't food

It's nature's dare

But you chew it

Like you just don't care

You evolved to dominate trees

With no rivals in sight

Got a two-meter-long gut

Just to survive the bite

But at what cost

Dear marsupial friend?

That leaf-fed brainpower

Hits rock bottom in the end

You can't recognize your food

If it ain't on a branch

Put you in a room full of leaves

And you'll starve in a trance

Layin' there in silence

Surrounded by a feast

The ultimate fool

Of the animal east

You wake up just to poop

And maybe moan real low

Then back to your coma

Where your thoughts don't go

Fallin' from trees

Like you forgot how to grip

You're nature's punchline

On an evolutionary trip

Yeah, koala

You're a plush little paradox

Wrapped in fluff

Fueled by poison

With no thoughts in that box

But damn if you

Ain't the cutest fool alive

Just don't ask you to survive