We are so in luck
Treeger said we could have all this cool stuff in the basement
Wait right there
Oh no I'm paddling away
Really We got all this rusty crap for free
This and a bunch of bubble wrap And some of it is not even popped
Could we be more white trash
How desperate am l
Good thing Chandler's not here He always wins at this game
I just told my mom I'd cater her party
How come I need the money
It'd be a great way to get rid of that last smidgen of self respect
I think this is a good thing
Mom wouldn't have hired you if you weren't good
You don't have to stick up for her She can't hear you
Do you have any juice
Just pickle
Funny story I bumped into Joanna yesterday
My boss Joanna That must have been awkward
Actually she asked me if I wanted a drink
You didn't say yes to that did you
Hello Rachel
What is she doing here
Last time you went out with her you said she was a dud
I judged her too quickly This time we took it to the next level
Last time I almost got fired You must end it You must end it now
It's not an everyday occurrence
Usually I'm in there by myself
Promise
Rachel aren't you running late No
You are if you pick me up a bagel Okay
Promise you will end this now
I promise I'll end it Thank you
I hope you know what I'm giving up
She's not just the boss in your office You know what I mean
Sorry I knew what he meant
How's the hired help
Doing great Quiches are coming along
What's this Blue nail polish
I thought it was cute
It's what your grandmother's hands looked like when we found her
Let me ask you a question
Why did you hire me
Richard raved about the food at his party
Then I heard the food at that lesbian wedding was nice
I assume you didn't sleep with anyone there
At least that would be something
Oh my God Did you hear that
She hired me because she thinks I'm good
I didn't hear that
She didn't hire me out of pity
It wasn't so she could pick on me She actually thinks I'm good
And hey it's cool if you're a lesbian
Good afternoon Are you the decision maker of the house
Do you currently own a set of encyclopedias
Actually I'm not buying I'm selling
Let me ask you one question
Do your friends ever have a conversation
And you just nod along not sure what they're talking about
I think he deserves a Nobel Prize
It was like the Algonquin kids' table
Excuse me I'm sorry
You haven't said anything for about two minutes 2
Are you at all interested
Come on in
That's weird What
Your nails
I meant it's weird that you only have nine now
Oh my God
Wait a minute
I had them when I put
Oh my God It's in the quiche
Oh my God Okay don't panic
I'll go buy you a new set of nails
No one will know and you'll look great
It's because they're going to eat That's the problem
Honey don't bite your nails
Please don't freak out
There's a blue fingernail in one of the quiche cups
And there's no way to know which one
And whoever finds it wins the prize
I'm not freaking out
Why are you laughing Now your father owes me 5 5
You bet I'd lose a nail
Don't be silly I just bet that I'd need these
Frozen lasagnas
You bet that I'd screw up
All that stuff about how I was good
No that was all true
This was just in case you pulled a Monica
You promised Dr Weinberg you'd never use that phrase
Come on Have a sense of humor
You're never able to laugh at yourself
That's right
My mom has no faith in me That's hilarious
I don't get it
No I have faith
No You have lasagnas
The ruined quiches are ready
I really don't think we should be doing this Okay
It just doesn't feel like we're breaking up
No we are I'm sad
Can you wait till tomorrow All right
Unbelievable
Thanks
That was my boss I have to go
What are you doing
I'm getting dressed Why
When I walk outside naked people throw garbage
Wait I want to show you something
What is it
Just a little gag gift somebody gave me
Put your hands together
You're not the boss of me
Yeah you are
Saucy
I'll be back in two minutes
You're going to leave me like this
Knowing you're here waiting for me I think it's exciting don't you
If you don't come back soon
There's pretty much nothing I can do about it
Great I'll keep it in my butt with your nose
That's weird She locked the door
You know why She's got the bonus list in there
I saw her working on it today
Swear you won't tell
You want to see the list
How are you
Hello Joanna
Office
I'm sorry I'll be a little longer
How little A couple hours 2
This isn't funny Get back here now
I can't Why not
I'm in my boss' car
What Tunnel
What
Rachel could I see you for a moment
Okay here's the situation
The keys to the cuffs are on the door
Could you be a doll
And grab them and scoot on over here and unlock me
You promised you would break up with her
I did break up with her She just took it really really well
Jeopardizing my career never entered your mind
It did enter my mind
But then something happened that made it shoot right out
You got yourself into those cuffs you get yourself out
I can't get myself right out of them
You must have me confused with the Amazing Chandler
All right This is it
Never see her again
Never
Give me back my Walkman
I never borrowed it
Then I lost it Buy me one
Does it hurt
No I always see guys do this when handcuffs are taken off
Hello sweet pants
Wait What will you tell Joanna
About what
She'll see you're gone and know I let you out and I'll get fired
I'll tell a lie I'm good at lying
I actually did borrow your Walkman
She'll know I have a key to her office
I've got to lock you back up
I don't think so
This is much better
Here's somebody interesting
What do you know about Van Gogh
He cut off his ear And
I'm out
He painted that
That's pretty nice
I thought he cut off his ear because he sucked
What else you got in there Let's see
Where does the Pope live ln the woods
Wait that's the joke answer
Actually it's Vatican City
Now what do you know about vulcanized rubber
Spock's birth control
You need these books
This used to be your room
You must have been in really good shape as a kid
I'm such an idiot
I can't believe I thought she could change
Who cares what your mom thinks
So you pulled a Monica
I'm glad that's catching on
Why does that have to be a bad thing Just change what it means
Prove your mother wrong
You finish the job and we'll call that pulling a Monica
What
If a kid gets straight A's his parents sayYou pulled a Monica A
A fireman saves a baby and they goHe pulled a Monica
Someone hits a homer and they say That one's out of here
Because some things don't change
All right I'll go down there
I won't serve the lasagna I'll serve what I make
My breasts are really strong
I have to get you locked back up I'm so going to lose my job
She's very private about her office
Now I know why
You're in trouble either way
If she sees me locked to this
She'll know you were here You might as well let me go
I'll clean your bathroom for a month Still won't be clean 1
All I want is my freedom
Foot rubs for a month Freedom 1
Why won't you hear me Sophie help me
Sophie sit
Would you just calm down
I'm going to say this for the last time
Would you please just
There's a lot I didn't know about vomit
In a minute
So what do you say
You get the whole set of encyclopedias for 1200 1200
That works out to just 50 bucks a book 50
12001200
You think I have 12001200
I'm home during the day
And I got patio furniture in my living room
There's a few things you don't get from book learning
Well what can you swing
How about zero down and zero a month for a long long time 0 0
You don't have anything
You want to see what I got
I got a baby Tootsie Roll
A movie stub keys a Kleenex
A rock
Okay I get the picture Thanks for your time
And a fifty 50
These must be Chandler's pants
For 50 you can get one book 50
What will it be A B C A B C
I'll stick with the V V
I want to see how this bad boy turns out
I will buy and wrap all of your Christmas gifts
I'll squeeze you fresh orange juice every morning
With extra pulp Yeah
I've got it
You don't have it
I have so got it
There will be rumors about this No way to stop it
Sophie Monica and Phoebe know
How do they know I called them
When they ask me what I saw
I can be very generous
Or very stingy
Go on
I can make you a legend
I can make you this generation's Milton Berle
And Milton Berle has Not compared to you
They're not even touching the lasagna
They love your casserole
Everyone seems to like your dish
And you
I thought it was
Quite tasty
So if everyone liked it and you liked it
That would make this a success Which would make you
A *****
I meant wrong but we can use your word
Yes well I was wrong
And I have to say
You really impressed me today
You might even say that she pulled a Monica
She doesn't know we switched it
And the next time you cater for me
There will be nothing but ice in the freezer
That really means a lot
Mom don't bite your nails
Hello Chandler
I love you
What's going on
No he doesn't
Two hours that lasted 2
So did you break up with Joanna
I think so
It's good you got out before she blew up like Vesuvius
The volcano
Speaking of volcanoes man are they a violent igneous rock formation
What
Lava spewing hot ash
Of course some are dormant
Why are you talking about volcanoes all of a sudden
What do you want to talk about Vivisection
The vas deferens
The Vietnam War
Did anyone see that documentary on the Korean War
Korea's a beautiful country
With such a sad history
Could there be more Kims
Who's out there Me Good morning
Could you come in here please
Sure They didn't have poppyseed bagels
So I have sesame Oh my word
I've had a slight office mishap
Could you get the key for me
Lf you could Oh I'm sorry
You can tell your friend Chandler we're definitely broken up this time
