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Ernie Had A Hernia - The Toy Dolls
Oh too much nosh and too much booze
He spent all night in the bog with the blues
An aching head intoxicated
He didn't even know he was constipated
He forced and he frowned
He pushed and he stained
But on the toilet seat he remained
He let out a shout hey
As he passed out
And his gut was rearranged
No walks in the park no drinks no grub
He can't embark on a trip to the pub
He sits in the dark and says don't trouble me
No one sees
Ernie had a Ernie had a
Hernia a hernie
He's a ruptured man
Ernie had a Ernie had a
Hernia a hernie
He can't sneeze like you normally can
They're all mean
Ernie had a Ernie had a
Hernia a hernie
They're all riff raff
Ernie had a Ernie had a
Hernia a hernie
He turns green when they make him laugh
He had a hernia
He can't stand up he can't lie flat
Flat
The torment in his tummy preventing that
He can't sit down can't go anywhere
The devil in his belly proving too much to bear
He can't go out and he can't stay in
What's it all about
He just can't win
No chance of a bath or to see the lavatory for him
No one sees
Ernie had a Ernie had a
Hernia a hernie
He's a ruptured man
Ernie had a Ernie had a
Hernia a hernie
He can't sneeze like you normally can
Ernie had a guitar bit
Oh Ernie never smiles and he dare not grin
An aggravating abdomen wearing him thin
Ernie had a hernia but he did not give in
No one sees
Ernie had a Ernie had a
Hernia a hernie
He's a ruptured man
Ernie had a Ernie had a
Hernia a hernie
He can't sneeze like you normally can
Ernie had a Ernie had a
Hernia a hernie
Ernie had a Ernie had a
Hernia a hernie
He turns green when they make him laugh
No one sees
Ernie had a Ernie had a
Hernia a hernie
He's a ruptured man
Ernie had a Ernie had a
Hernia a hernie
He can't sneeze like you normally can
He had a hernia
